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Let these funny Arrived Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Excellence is not a destination to be arrived at,
but a path of continual attention and improvement.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we have arrived at the question,
the answer is already near.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our journey into consciousness of wealth
begins with the realization that we have already arrived!
- Michael Bernard Beckwith
Any human being who is becoming independent of conditionings,
of religions, scriptures, prophets and messiahs, has arrived home.
He has found the treasure which was hidden in his own being.
- Osho
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I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb
Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek,
but a means by which we arrive at that goal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot
Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin
It is better to travel well than to arrive.
- The Buddha
Today is what life is all about.
When I desire for the future to arrive quickly,
I become unable to savor today.
I can't live in tomorrow, and when I focus
all my energies on the future, I shortchange today.
Likewise, fearing the future emasculates today,
leaving it dry and lifeless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There comes a time in every man's education
when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance,
that imitation is suicide,
that he must take himself for better or for worse as his portion.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Old friends pass away, new friends appear.
It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives.
The important thing is to make it meaningful:
a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities without your help.
- Judith Martin
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson
Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If being good isn't working - try being outrageous.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.