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Let these funny Scriptures Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Any human being who is becoming independent of conditionings,
of religions, scriptures, prophets and messiahs, has arrived home.
He has found the treasure which was hidden in his own being.
- Osho
The Spirit is described in the Holy Scriptures
as much more anarchic than any established religion credits.
- Bono
Remain in wonder if you want the mysteries to open up for you.
Mysteries never open up for those who go on questioning.
Questioners sooner or later end up in a library.
Questioners sooner or later end up with scriptures,
because scriptures are full of answers.
And answers are dangerous, they kill your wonder.
- Osho
You have to be an original individual;
you have to find your innermost core on your own,
with no guide, no guiding scriptures.
It is a dark night, but with the intense fire of inquiry
you are bound to come to the sunrise.
Everybody who has burned with intense inquiry
has found the sunrise.
Others only believe.
Those who believe are not religious,
they are simply avoiding the great adventure
of religion by believing.
- Osho
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The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Hunger makes a thief of any man.
- Pearl S. Buck
Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain
Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When life offers you a dream so far
beyond any of your expectations,
it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
- Mark Twain
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare
The first step towards the solution
of any problem is optimism.
- John Baines
Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
- Albert Einstein
"Be Prepared."
"Be prepared for what?"
"Why, for any old thing."
- Robert Baden-Powell,
the founder of Scouting.
[as quoted in the Boy Scout Handbook]
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
- James Feibleman
I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance
or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others.
- Thomas Jefferson
Your example is far more influential and inspiring
than any words of instruction, or threats,
or even words of encouragement.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most everything in life is about our
point-of-view rather than any absolute.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If it is surely the means to the highest end we know,
can any work be humble or disgusting?
Will it not rather be elevating as a ladder,
the means by which we are translated?
- Henry David Thoreau
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus
Under a government which imprisons any unjustly,
the true place for a just man is also a prison.
- Henry David Thoreau
I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill
Any change that comes about in your life
will be primarily because of your own efforts.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill
The greatest discovery of any generation
is that a human being
can alter his life by
altering his attitude
- William James
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have.
- Winston Churchill
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau
Begin to act from your dominion.
Declare the truth by telling yourself
that there is nothing to be afraid of,
that you no longer entertain any images of fear.
- Ernest Holmes
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
Clarke's Third Law:
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
- Arthur C. Clarke
Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction
because of the variety of factors in operation,
not because of any lack of order in nature.
- Albert Einstein
There is no person in this room whose basic rights
are not involved in any successful defiance
to the carrying out of court orders.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
If you're doing your best,
you won't have any time to worry about failure.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Any man who reads too much
and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
God's Spirit moves through us and the world
at a pace that can never be constricted
by any one religious paradigm.
I love that.
- Bono
Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
- Norman Vincent Peale
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
If a man loses his reverence for any part of life,
he will lose his reverence for all of life.
- Albert Schweitzer
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.