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Funny Conditionings Quotes
Funny Quotes about Conditionings

Let these funny Conditionings Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Any human being who is becoming independent of conditionings,
of religions, scriptures, prophets and messiahs, has arrived home.
He has found the treasure which was hidden in his own being.
- Osho

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

With a penetrating vision
you can dissipate the obstruction,
remove the obstacle,
dissolve the wrong condition.
- Ernest Holmes


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If you paint in your mind a picture of
bright and happy expectations,
you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.
- Norman Vincent Peale

I love, without condition, myself,
all those around me,
and all those in my thoughts,
this day and evermore. Amen
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein


 

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
- Voltaire

Being defeated is often a temporary condition.
Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant

Overwhelm is not a pleasant condition.
The to-do list overflows,
the deadlines appear imminent and immovable.
There are too many demands upon too little of your time.
Does this sound familiar?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

While it is natural to feel some degree of
need for the approval of others, be careful.
If you find yourself unwilling to
take actions that others disapprove of,
you have lost control of your own life
and have given your destiny to others.
An excessive need-for-approval
is a sign of low self-esteem,
and in severe cases, a condition termed co-dependency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life
in which chance has placed us,
but is always the result of a good conscience,
good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.
- Thomas Jefferson

Purity of personal life is the one indispensable condition
for building up a sound education.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller

All things appear and disappear
because of the concurrence of causes and conditions.
Nothing ever exists entirely alone;
everything is in relation to everything else.
- The Buddha

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

If co-operation is a duty, I hold that non-co-operation
also under certain conditions is equally a duty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living
In better conditions.
- Hafiz

When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams,
whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about.
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch,
the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
- Joseph Epstein

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice,
more drunkards than thirst,
and perhaps as many suicides as despair.
- The Buddha

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

CALM IN CHAOS
In the midst of the flurry - clarity.
In the midst of the storm - calm.
In the midst of divided interests - certainty.
In the many roads - a certain choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare

Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

However many holy words you read, however many you speak,
what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?
- The Buddha

Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Misery nourishes your ego -
that's why you see so many miserable people in the world.
The basic, central point is the ego.
- Osho

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela

There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend
reality by imagination, as I try to do.
- Anais Nin

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

There are many answers you have received
but have not yet heard.
- A Course In Miracles

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers.
This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated
thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
- Albert Einstein

Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head,
and knows not that it brings abundance
to drive away the hunger.
- Saint Basil

Facts are many, but the truth is one.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Many people allow their need
for other people's approval to control their lives.
They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.
- Rick Warren

Many men go fishing all of their lives
without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
- Henry David Thoreau

After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela

Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes

Many people love in themselves what they hate in others.
- E. F. Schumacher

We know but a few men, a great many coats and breeches.
- Henry David Thoreau

All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare

Many persons have a wrong idea of
what constitutes true happiness.
It is not attained through self-gratification
but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- Helen Keller

Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill

Faith is the highest passion in a human being.
Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison

Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there
who will try to discourage you.
Don't listen to them.
The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon

In the midst of the flurry - clarity.
In the midst of the storm - calm.
In the midst of divided interests - certainty.
In the many roads - a certain choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor,
it cannot save the few who are rich.
- John F. Kennedy

All the great things are simple,
and many can be expressed in a single word:
freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
- Winston Churchill

In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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