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The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
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Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- H. L. Mencken
For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken
Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken
We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
A ship in harbor is safe -
but that is not what ships are for.
- John A. Shedd
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.