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Funny Intelligence Quotes
Funny Quotes about Intelligence

Let these funny Intelligence Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

Belief is the death of intelligence.
- Robert Anton Wilson


 

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence
than to be surprised at nothing.
- Josh Billings

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability
to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time
and still retain the ability to function.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less
intelligence and more sense than we have.
- Don Herold


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Intelligence is really a kind of taste:
taste in ideas.
- Susan Sontag

There are no great limits to growth because there are
no limits of human intelligence,
imagination, and wonder.
- Ronald Reagan

Intelligence is not a science.
- Frank Carlucci

A woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her intuition.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

Man becomes man only by his intelligence,
but he is man only by his heart.
- Henri Frederic Amiel

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.
- Salvador Dali

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant
intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
- Sigmund Freud

Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill

Mad, adj.
Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
- Ambrose Bierce

It is better to have a fair intellect that is well
used than a powerful one that is idle.
- Bryant H. McGill

Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.
- Roger Ebert

I can't tell you if genius is hereditary,
because heaven has granted me no offspring.
- James Whistler

The bookful blockhead, ignorantly read With loads of
learned lumber in his head.
- Alexander Pope

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of
questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just
in time to ask questions?
- Scott Adams

Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always
better to be wise than to be smart.
- Alan Alda

A woman has to be intelligent, have charm,
a sense of humor, and be kind.
It's the same qualities I require from a man.
- Catherine Deneuve

The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments,
and is yet willing to learn more.
- Ed Parker

Intellectuals are too sentimental for me.
- Margaret Anderson

To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization.
- Arnold J. Toynbee

Man is the most intelligent of the animals -
and the most silly.
- Diogenes

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blonde.
- Dolly Parton

We have now sunk to a depth at which restatement of
the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
- George Orwell

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
- Josh Billings

It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
- Lewis Carroll

There are only two races on this planet -
the intelligent and the stupid.
- John Fowles

All intelligent thoughts have already been thought;
what is necessary is only to try to think them again.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is not worth an intelligent man's time to be in the majority.
By definition, there are already enough people to do that.
- G. H. Hardy

Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle

Common sense is not so common.
- Voltaire

Be what you are.
This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.
- Julius Charles Hare

Every true genius is bound to be naive.
- Friedrich Schiller

Smartness runs in my family.
When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was
in my class for five years.
- Gracie Allen

I'm not the smartest fellow in the world,
but I can sure pick smart colleagues.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The higher the voice the smaller the intellect.
- Ernest Newman

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again,
this time more intelligently.
- Henry Ford

Ignorance is no excuse, it's the real thing.
- Irene Peter

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
- Albert Camus

Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers.
- Janis Joplin

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere
in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
- Bill Watterson

Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.
- E. B. White

I not only use all the brains that I have,
but all that I can borrow.
- Woodrow Wilson

There is no method but to be very intelligent.
- T. S. Eliot

Small minds are concerned with the extraordinary,
great minds with the ordinary.
- Blaise Pascal

Always be smarter than the people who hire you.
- Lena Horne

There is One Infinite Mind,
which of necessity includes all that is,
whether it be the intelligence in man,
the life in the animal,
or the invisible Presence which is God.
- Ernest Holmes

Shall I not have intelligence with the earth?
Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.
- Henry David Thoreau

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority
is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.
- Stephen Hawking

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence -
is the key to unlocking our potential.
- Winston Churchill

Success in almost any field depends more on energy
and drive than it does on intelligence.
This explains why we have so many stupid leaders.
- Sloan Wilson

I do not believe in the God of the theologians;
but that there is a Supreme Intelligence I do not doubt.
- Thomas Edison

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
- Lao Tzu

Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people
come from their intelligence.
They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness.
- Marcel Proust

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

There is nothing wrong with America
that faith, love of freedom, intelligence,
and energy of her citizens cannot cure.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
- Alan Perlis

If you would take, you must first give,
this is the beginning of intelligence.
- Lao Tzu

One defeats a fanatic precisely by not being a fanatic oneself,
but on the contrary by using one's intelligence.
- George Orwell

Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold.
- Joseph Chilton Pearce

Wealth, in even the most improbable cases,
manages to convey the aspect of intelligence.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)

The true sign of intelligence
is not knowledge but imagination.
- Albert Einstein

If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


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