Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. ...
by H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken


 

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- H. L. Mencken

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie

Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People

One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.
- Mother Teresa

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

Nobody, as long as he moves about
among the chaotic currents of life,
is without trouble.
- Carl Jung

Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous

Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain

Nobody ever gets to see what could have been.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank

Do what nobody else can do for you.
Omit to do anything else.
- Henry David Thoreau

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs

An error does not become truth
by reason of multiplied propagation,
nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Nobody has ever asked the nuclear family to live
all by itself in a box the way we do.
With no relatives, no support,
we've put it in an impossible situation.
- Margaret Mead

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry

Nobody needs your help.
I know, I know, this is a difficult one. But it is true.
This does not mean no one wants your help,
or that no one could use your help.
It simply means the thought that another
Aspect of Divinity is powerless without you is inaccurate.
- Neale Donald Walsch

We are not going to be able
to operate our Spaceship Earth
successfully nor for much longer
unless we see it as a whole spaceship
and our fate as common.
It has to be everybody or nobody.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren

The basic thing nobody asks is
why do people take drugs of any sort?
Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live?
I mean, is there something wrong with society
that's making us so pressurized,
that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?
- John Lennon

In this world, the greatest courage is to drop the mind aside.
The bravest man is who can see the world
without the barrier of the mind, just as it is.
It is tremendously different, utterly beautiful.
There is nobody who is inferior and there is nobody who is superior -
there are no distinctions.
- Osho

A fool is one who goes on trusting;
a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience.
You deceive him, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you.
Then you will say that he is a fool, he does not learn.
His trust is tremendous; his trust is
so pure that nobody can corrupt it.
Be a fool in the Taoist sense, in the Zen sense.
Don't try to create a wall of knowledge around you.
Whatsoever experience comes to you,
let it happen, and then go on dropping it.
Go on cleaning your mind continuously;
go on dying to the past so you remain in the present here-now,
as if just born, just a babe.
- Osho

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

I consider my greatest accomplishment to be lifelong celibacy.
- Isaac Newton
(discoverer of the laws of gravitation and motion,
famous mathematician, and perhaps the greatest scientist ever)

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Thank you for visiting: Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. ... by H. L. Mencken.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to
Jonathan Lockwood Huie's Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.