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Funny Public Quotes
Funny Quotes about Public

Let these funny Public Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

For me every ruler is alien that defies public opinion.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus


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Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.
- Joseph Campbell

No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong

When a man assumes a public trust
he should consider himself a public property.
- Thomas Jefferson


 

Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter

The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln

The price of apathy towards public affairs
is to be ruled by evil men.
- Plato

He who molds the public sentiment...
makes statutes and decisions possible or impossible to make.
- Abraham Lincoln

Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln

God is, even though the whole world deny him.
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage
which in the past has been brought to public life
is not as likely to insist upon or regard
that quality in its chosen leaders today -
and in fact we have forgotten.
- John F. Kennedy

One should respect public opinion insofar
as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison,
but anything that goes beyond this
is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
- Bertrand Russell

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

The tongue like a sharp knife...
Kills without drawing blood.
- The Buddha

It's stasis that kills you off in the end, not ambition.
- Bono

It's not what you don't know that kills you,
it's what you know for sure that ain't true.
- Mark Twain

Anger is a killing thing:
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him less than he had been before -
it takes something from him.
- Louis L'Amour

Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand
with a grip that kills it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it,
while every pessimist would keep the worlds at a standstill.
The consequence of pessimism in the life of a nation
is the same as in the life of the individual.
Pessimism kills the instinct that
urges men to struggle against poverty,
ignorance and crime, and dries up
all the fountains of joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt.
Doubt separates people.
It is a poison that disintegrates
friendships and breaks up pleasant relations.
It is a thorn that irritates and hurts;
it is a sword that kills.
- The Buddha

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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