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Funny Secure Quotes
Funny Quotes about Secure

Let these funny Secure Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The hope of a secure and livable world
lies with disciplined nonconformists
who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is an unfortunate fact that we can secure peace
only by preparing for war.
- John F. Kennedy

Ethics is the activity of man directed to secure
the inner perfection of his own personality.
- Albert Schweitzer

It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton


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If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature.
- Helen Keller

Our only security is our ability to change.
- John Lilly


 

Security is not the absence of danger,
but the presence of God,
no matter what the danger.
- Anonymous

Poverty with security is better than plenty
in the midst of fear and uncertainty.
- Aesop

The most intense conflicts, if overcome,
leave behind a sense of security and calm
that is not easily disturbed.
It is just these intense conflicts
and their conflagration
which are needed to produce
valuable and lasting results.
- Carl Jung

Our growing softness,
our increasing lack of physical fitness,
is a menace to our security.
- John F. Kennedy

We will bankrupt ourselves in
the vain search for absolute security.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Those of true faith don't require guaranteed security.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no security on this Earth,
there is only opportunity.
- Douglas MacArthur

The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all.
- John F. Kennedy

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller

For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so,
a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
- Thomas Jefferson

If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford

Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham

Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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