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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Scarcity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Scarcity

Let these funny Scarcity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

For those who do not live in fear of scarcity, life is unlimited.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am the master of my emotions -
I transform fear to love, anger to compassion,
pain to comfort, scarcity to abundance,
expectation to gratitude, and jealousy to generosity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A mentality of scarcity - of lack -
is the natural consequence of
viewing the world through eyes of fear.
In contrast, when the world is viewed
through eyes of love,
the future becomes unlimited.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin


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I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)


 

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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