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Let these funny Lack Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
- Mark Twain
Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2
Jealousy is the result of one's lack
of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
- Sasha Azevedo
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Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous
Confidence is contagious.
So is lack of confidence.
- Vince Lombardi
The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it.
- John B. Putnam Jr.
The difference between a successful person and others
is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will.
- Vince Lombardi
Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Occurrences in this domain are beyond the reach of exact prediction
because of the variety of factors in operation,
not because of any lack of order in nature.
- Albert Einstein
Envy comes from people's ignorance of,
or lack of belief in, their own gifts.
- Jean Vanier
Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Watch what people are cynical about,
and one can often discover what they lack.
- George S. Patton
Lack of culture means what it has always meant:
ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs.
Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.
- John F. Kennedy
More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday
Our growing softness,
our increasing lack of physical fitness,
is a menace to our security.
- John F. Kennedy
A mentality of scarcity - of lack -
is the natural consequence of
viewing the world through eyes of fear.
In contrast, when the world is viewed
through eyes of love,
the future becomes unlimited.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The source of most worry is a lack of acceptance
of the uncertainties of the future.
When one fully lives a life of acceptance,
life's vagaries are not merely tolerated,
but are received as a gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible
in bright moments as well as in trouble,
we cannot fully respond to its consolations
because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.
- Helen Keller
After all, science is essentially international,
and it is only through lack of the historical sense
that national qualities have been attributed to it.
- Marie Curie
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I live in my own place -
have never copied anyone even half,
and at any master who lacks the grace -
to laugh at himself - I laugh.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Where love reigns, there is no will to power;
and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking.
The one is but the shadow of the other.
- Carl Jung
Be content with what you have,
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
- Lao Tzu
Human subtlety will never devise an invention
more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature,
because in her inventions nothing is lacking,
and nothing is superfluous.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.