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Funny Patient Quotes
Funny Quotes about Patient

Let these funny Patient Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We could never learn to be brave and patient,
if there were only joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

Like an Owl, I am Alert, Patient, and Objective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Like a Cat, I am Independent, Patient, Alert, and Decisive.
When the time is right, I pounce on opportunity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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If you are patient in one moment of anger,
you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

We are composed of self-contradictions.
Each of us is loving in some moments - hateful in others.
Patient and calm sometimes - harried by urgency at others.
Understanding - and self-absorbed.
Reassuring - and sarcastic.
Generous - and greedy.
Trusting - and jealous.
Comforting - and snappish.
Original - and stuck in a rut.
Thankful - and needy.
Forgiving - and vengeful.
Nurturing ourself - and stuffing ourself with fast food.
Honoring our bodies - and overstressing.
Being Joyful - and Suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

I have treated many hundreds of patients.
Among those in the second half of life -
that is to say, over 35 -
there has not been one whose problem in the last resort
was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.
- Carl Jung

The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts

Patience is an ever present alternative
to the mind's endemic restlessness and impatience.
Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find
lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger.
It's the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are
and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it.
This doesn't mean you can't hurry when you have to.
It is possible even to hurry patiently, mindfully,
moving fast because you have chosen to.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.
- George Savile

Patience, persistence, and perseverance.
A little more each day, a little better each day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Haste is blind and improvident.
- Titus Livius (Livy)

A jug fills drop by drop.
- The Buddha

Keep moving. Don't stop. But don't rush.
Don't race around.
Sure and steady gets you there every time.
- Neale Donald Walsch

I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every calamity is to be overcome by endurance.
- Virgil

No great thing is created suddenly.
- Epictetus

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau

The key to everything is patience.
You get the chicken by hatching the egg,
not by smashing it open.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

I have just three things to teach:
simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
- Lao Tzu

Patience, persistence and perspiration
make an unbeatable combination for success.
- Napoleon Hill

The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything that slows us down and forces patience,
everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature,
is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.
- May Sarton

If you really aren't trying to get anywhere else in this moment,
patience takes care of itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

Patience is a form of wisdom.
It demonstrates that we understand and accept
the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Spirit has unlimited patience,
and will wait for me to evolve.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word happy would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better take things as they come along
with patience and equanimity.
- Carl Jung

If patience is worth anything,
it must endure to the end of time.
And a living faith will last
in the midst of the blackest storm.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Stop! Breathe deeply.
Begin bringing peace to the outer world
by regaining your own inner peace.
Choose love, choose gratitude,
choose forgiveness, choose peace.
Begin with your own inner peace.
Then use that inner peace
as a platform from which
to approach the outer world
with perspective, understanding, and patience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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