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Let these funny Despotism Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
We are not to expect to be translated from
despotism to liberty in a featherbed.
- Thomas Jefferson
Force is the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism.
- Thomas Jefferson
Timid men prefer the calm of despotism
to the tempestuous sea of liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
The strength and power of despotism
consists wholly in the fear of resistance.
- Thomas Paine
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The whole commerce between master and slave
is a perpetual exercise of the most boisterous passions,
the most unremitting despotism on the one part,
and degrading submissions on the other.
Our children see this, and learn to imitate it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit
which prizes liberty as a heritage of all men,
in all lands, everywhere.
Destroy this spirit and you have planted
the seeds of despotism around your own doors.
- Abraham Lincoln
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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