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Funny Cancer Quotes
Funny Quotes about Cancer

Let these funny Cancer Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A systemic cleansing and detox is definitely the way
to go after each holiday.
It is the key to fighting high blood pressure,
heart disease, cancer, and other health-related illnesses.
- Lee Haney

Bitterness is like cancer.
It eats upon the host.
But anger is like fire.
It burns it all clean.
- Maya Angelou

In terms of fitness and battling through cancer,
exercise helps you stay strong physically and mentally.
- Grete Waitz

The Establishment center...
has led us into the stupidest and cruelest war in all history.
That war is a moral and political disaster -
a terrible cancer eating away at the soul of our nation.
- George McGovern


 

For example, colon cancer is the second leading cause
of cancer death in the United States.
Every four minutes someone is diagnosed,
and every nine minutes someone dies.
- Kevin Richardson

I recently formed a foundation to raise awareness for prostate cancer.
I feel it's very necessary that men be more aware about
prostate cancer and their health in general.
- Herbie Mann

Like every aspect of cancer I've weathered thus far,
today's experience was not at all demoralizing,
expensive or humiliating.
No, it was just plain fun.
- April Winchell


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Everyone should know that most cancer research is largely a fraud,
and that the major cancer research organizations are
derelict in their duties to the people who support them.
- Linus Pauling

But try if you can to support, whether it's AIDS or the cancer foundation,
so that someone else might survive, might prosper,
and might actually be cured of this dreaded disease.
- Jim Valvano

Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer,
because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem.
- David D. Burns

I've helped many, many, many children,
thousands of children, cancer kids, leukemia kids.
- Michael Jackson

I'm going to beat this cancer or die trying.
- Michael Landon

I think governments are the cancer of civilization.
- Chuck D. *q

Most breast cancer-related deaths can be prevented
through simple and painless preventive measures.
A late diagnosis can result in more serious,
long-term consequences.
- Olympia Snowe

I pictured myself as a virus or a cancer cell and tried
to sense what it would be like.
- Jonas Salk

Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities.
It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart,
and it cannot touch my soul.
- Jim Valvano

Humanity abhors, above all things, a vacuum in itself,
and your class will be cut off from humanity as the
surgeon cuts the cancer and alien growth from the body.
- James Larkin

Even though I'm not running anymore,
we still have to try to find a cure for cancer.
Other people should go ahead and try to do their own thing now.
- Terry Fox

I've been a rock star since you were very young.
But I've never encountered anything as powerful as cancer.
- Melissa Etheridge

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain
cancer and work environment.
The No.
1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.
- Jimmy Fallon

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.
- Edward Abbey

I do a lot of races for the cure for breast cancer.
- Mary Ann Mobley

Cancer came back into my life twice in order for me to understand something,
and I guess I still wasn't getting it.
And my husband wasn't getting it, either.
- Mariel Hemingway

Germany has reduced savagery to a science,
and this great war for the victorious peace of justice
must go on until the German cancer is cut clean out of the world body.
- Theodore Roosevelt

We have common enemies today.
It's called childhood poverty.
It's called cancer.
It's called AIDS.
It's called Parkinson's.
It's called Muscular Dystrophy.
- Jerry Doyle

Time is shortening.
But every day that I challenge this cancer and survive is a victory for me.
- Ingrid Bergman

I was spiritually bankrupt, and when that happens,
it's like a spiritual cancer afflicts you.
- Mel Gibson

A torn rotator cuff is a cancer for a pitcher and if
a pitcher gets a badly torn one,
he has to face the facts, it's all over baby.
- Don Drysdale

Well, right now, technically, I have no breast cancer.
- Lynn Redgrave

I didn't know anything about breast cancer when I got it.
- Rue McClanahan

Movies are fun, but they're not a cure for cancer.
- Warren Beatty

Unfortunately, cancer is the number one killer of children in this country today,
and it destroys not only these innocent victims,
but their families as well.
- Michael McCaul

This show has shown me how to throw a punch.
But watching my future sister-in-law go through breast
cancer has also shown me how to take one.
- Charlotte Ross

I have been unexpectedly confronted with my own mortality
as I was told that I had cancer.
- Jodi Rell

A quick example of that is a woman who said she'd been
healed of throat cancer where the faith healer admitted
he touched her on the forehead.
- James Randi

This particular nurse said, Cancer cells are those
which have forgotten how to die.
I was so struck by this statement.
- Harold Pinter

Suspicion is the cancer of friendship.
- Petrarch

I think that it is our intention to deny cancer any control over us.
- Elizabeth Edwards

Cancer victims who don't accept their fate,
who don't learn to live with it, will only destroy
what little time they have left.
- Ingrid Bergman

Our purpose in this project is to begin to turn that fear of cancer,
actually America's greatest fear, into a future,
not only free of fear, but full of hope.
- Andrew von Eschenbach

My job is writing.
I get paid to do it.
When was the last time you heard someone challenge
a doctor for making money off of cancer?
- Joyce Maynard

I'm sure it really is hard to be an oncologist,
and actually, more and more people are surviving cancer.
- Marcia Wallace

Activating oxygen can produce compounds called radicals
that put oxidative stress on cells.
Such stress could ultimately lead to cancer and other diseases.
- John Simon

Turning 30 was when my parents both got cancer and
were fighting it and beat it,
but their mortality started to get to me.
Everything wasn't as hunky-dory like it was.
- Darren Aronofsky

I'm praying that was my one little dip in the cancer pool.
I hope never to have to revisit that,
but I learned a lot, I'm cancer free with a bright and hopeful future.
- Julie Gold

Most medical physicists work in the physics of radiation
oncology making sure that the desired dose is given
to the cancer and the dose to normal tissues are minimized.
- John Cameron

I have been extremely lucky; I am a person who is currently
living with a cancer that is under control.
- Geraldine Ferraro

If we stop exploring space, we're going to lose the
same part of us that found vaccines and penicillin,
the part that searches for cures to cancer and AIDS.
- Corbin Bernsen

I've always been very involved in anything that had
to do with lung disease or cancer.
- Loni Anderson

Historically, more people have died of religion than cancer.
- Dick Francis

Lance Armstrong, the famous cyclist and more importantly,
cancer survivor, has said 'if you ever get a second chance for something,
you've got to go all the way.'
- Michael N. Castle

Cancer Boy probably has the saddest,
noblest,
sweetest heart of any character I've ever done.
- Bruce McCulloch

More men die of jealousy than of cancer.
- Joseph P. Kennedy

Fighting terrorism is not unlike fighting a deadly cancer.
It can't be treated just where it's visible -
every diseased cell in the body must be destroyed.
- David Hackworth

I could be a bit of a pain in the arse.
Since I've come out of my cancer, I must say I intend
to be even more of a pain in the arse.
- Harold Pinter

We have thousands of patients and family members who
are dealing with dual devastation,
cancer and the hurricane.
- Greg Anderson

Linux is a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual
property sense to everything it touches.
- Steve Ballmer

Cancer is just a horrible disease.
- Kevin Richardson

Cancer has been unfortunately in my life.
My mom's best friend is kicking ass in her battle with breast cancer.
Both of my grandmas had cancer.
I recently lost a friend to cancer.
- Marla Sokoloff

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy,
and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
- Kathy Griffin

I am living in Norway, where I am under the care of
the best cancer doctor in Norway and I can be closer to my family.
- Grete Waitz

An estimated 2 million American women will be diagnosed
with breast or cervical cancer this decade and screening
could prevent up to 30% of these deaths for women over 40.
- Matthew Lesko

Our meaning is to make our little planet Earth a better place to live,
to stop wars, disarm nuclear missiles,
to stop diseases, AIDS, plague, cancer and to stop pollution.
- Uri Geller

Once colon cancer becomes symptomatic,
nine times out of ten it is too late.
- Kevin Richardson

Understanding how DNA transmits all it knows about cancer,
physics, dreaming and love will keep man searching for some time.
- David R. Brower

I am about to get involved with the biggest cancer hospital in Norway.
They are building a fitness center to work with patients.
I will be a consultant.
- Grete Waitz

In some cases radiation reduces the incidence of cancer.
- John Cameron

With Alexander's cancer, I was definitely brought to
my knees for the first time because of the fear factor.
- Cathy Freeman

One of the reasons I loved playing quarterback was
that I got to call the plays.
The cancer put me in a position where I really wasn't in control anymore.
- Len Dawson

Cancer is a disease where the patient can contribute
a great deal of help himself if he or she can retain
their morale and their hopes.
- George Carman

My main frustration is the fear of cancer from low dose radiation,
even by radiologists.
- John Cameron


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