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Let these funny Sweetly Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Oh my luve is like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
Oh my luve is like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
- Robert Burns
It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet.
- Mark Twain
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
- William Shakespeare
Justice is sweet and musical; but injustice is harsh and discordant.
- Henry David Thoreau
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
May your mind whirl joyful cartwheels of creativity.
May your heart sing sweet lullabies of timelessness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May your heart sing sweet lullabies of timelessness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare
Experience life in all possible ways -
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter.
Experience all the dualities.
Don't be afraid of experience,
because the more experience you have,
the more mature you become.
- Osho
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility,
never an opportunity.
- Khalil Gibran
May your mind whirl joyful cartwheels of creativity.
May your heart sing sweet lullabies of timelessness.
May your essence be the nectar of the open blossom of your joy.
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The movie character Forrest Gump describing life
as being "like a box of chocolates,"
is such a positive upbeat way of
characterizing the uncertainty of life.
I have no idea what life will give me next,
but whatever it is, it will be sweet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
May your mind whirl joyful cartwheels of creativity.
May your heart sing sweet lullabies of timelessness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I take every opportunity to articulate to others
the ways that they have blessed and influenced me.
I hold sweet memories of making the opportunity
to thank teachers who have influenced me.
I encourage everyone to seize opportunities
to tell people who have made a gift of knowledge or influence.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Let us celebrate the occasion
with wine and sweet words.
- Plautus
I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the sweet uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starts that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still in each new dawn.
- Traditional Native American Prayer
The Sweetest Strawberry:
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger.
He fled, the tiger after him.
Coming to a precipice,
he caught hold of the root of a wild vine
and swung himself over the edge.
The tiger sniffed at him from above.
Trembling, the man looked down to where,
far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him.
Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black,
little by little started to gnaw away the vine.
The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him.
Grasping the vine with one hand,
he plucked the strawberry with the other.
How sweet it tasted.
- Zen Koan
Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised.
No barrier of the senses shuts me out from
the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends.
They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness.
- Helen Keller
Fame is the scentless sunflower, with gaudy crown of gold;
But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
Sweetest Lord, make me appreciative
of the dignity of my high vocation,
and its many responsibilities.
Never permit me to disgrace it by giving way
to coldness, unkindness, or impatience.
- Mother Teresa
Be not like the sugarcane -
do not hold your sweetness inside.
Be like the fruit tree -
be generous with your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie (inspired by Tagore)
It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions;
it is easy in solitude to live after your own;
but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd
keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.