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Let these funny Acquisition Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In the councils of government,
we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence,
whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex.
The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power
exists and will persist.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence,
whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex.
The potential for the disastrous rise
of misplaced power exists and will persist.
We must never let the weight of this combination
endanger our liberties or democratic processes.
We should take nothing for granted.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower in his Farewell Address of January, 17 1961
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
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You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Speeches that are measured by the hour
will die with the hour.
- Thomas Jefferson
Credulity - willingness to accept
unsupported statements without demanding proof -
is the greatest ally of the dictator and the demagogue.
- Arthur C. Clarke
A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Although prepared for martyrdom,
I preferred that it be postponed.
- Winston Churchill
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy
Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous
The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is dangerous to be right in matters
on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire
Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens
If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job:
it's a depression when you lose yours.
- Harry S. Truman
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken
Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted
with the government of himself.
Can he, then be trusted with the government of others?
Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him?
Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
Winners Dream Big Dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The inherent vice of capitalism
is the unequal sharing of blessings;
the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
- Winston Churchill
Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
- Oscar Wilde
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken
These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic,
for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.
- Robert Lindner
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
- Albert Einstein
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.