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Let these funny Philip Caputo Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare 
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All our dreams can come true,
if we have the courage to pursue them.
- Walt Disney
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare
True Love burns the brightest,
But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
- Anonymous
Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne
If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb
The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney
Your inner thoughts reveal your true nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie
Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Honor My True Self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just because it's true, I say as often as I can
in as many ways as I can form, "I sure love you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The true delight is in the finding out,
rather than in the knowing.
- Isaac Asimov
Pity may represent little more
than the impersonal concern
which prompts the mailing of a check,
but true sympathy is the personal concern
which demands the giving of one's soul.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Every loving thought is true.
Everything else is an appeal for healing and help,
regardless of the form it takes.
- A Course In Miracles
In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west;
people create distinctions out of their own minds
and then believe them to be true.
- The Buddha
Lighten up! Slow down the shopping.
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
Consider gifting hand-made cards with messages
of true appreciation in place of store-bought presents.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright
True independence is not a gift to be received.
It can't be a hand-out to people.
It must be an achievement by the people.
- Jimmy Yen
Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
We seek opinions that are likely to
support what we want to be true.
- Thomas Gilovich
Loving, hating, having expectations:
all these are attachments.
Attachment prevents the growth of one's true being.
- Lao Tzu
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
Guys are like stars, there are millions of them,
but only one to make your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
There is nothing true anywhere,
The true is nowhere to be seen;
If you say you see the true,
This seeing is not the true one.
- Abraham Lincoln paraphrasing Lao Tzu' Tao te Ching
Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson
The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
- The Buddha
A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates
Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship
is to understand and to be understood.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell
However rare true love may be,
it is less so than true friendship.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley
Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington
Under a government which imprisons any unjustly,
the true place for a just man is also a prison.
- Henry David Thoreau
True friendship is a plant of slow growth.
- George Washington
Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.