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Steve Martin Quotes
Funny Quotes by Steve Martin

Let these funny Steve Martin Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)


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It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill


 

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

I wish you a magical white rabbit kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I wish you a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher PHOTO

I wish you a tea and jammies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White PHOTO

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

May You Dance Lightly With Life, and Have a Whimsical Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lighten up, have a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous PHOTO

My joy is the golden sunset
giving thanks for another day.
Gratitude itself is a source of joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
- Irish Blessing

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Carpe Diem (Seize the day)
- Latin Proverb

Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Protect your vision.
Prevail over adversity.
Persevere in the midst of turmoil.
Passionately act upon your convictions.
Purposely walk into the day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
- Anonymous

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

To live a satisfying life requires two steps...
1. Plan your life goals.
2. Act on your plan - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man is what he thinks about all day long.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I say that Today is a Perfect Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Every day is a Perfect Day when I say it is;
and I say that Today is a Perfect Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is my day to laugh loud - laugh often
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What are you committed to?
Have you started, or are you still thinking about it -
and making excuses?
Do you work toward your goal each day?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

This day boldness is manifested in a simple grace: gratitude.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I never had a policy;
I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every day is Christmas when you are open to receiving love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.