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Let these funny Hilary Clinton Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton
Being human, we are imperfect. That's why we need each other.
To catch each other when we falter.
To encourage each other when we lose heart.
Some may lead; others may follow; but none of us can go it alone.
- Hilary Clinton
Every moment wasted looking back
keeps us from moving forward.
- Hilary Clinton
Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply
about what you believe in.
When you stumble, keep faith.
When you're knocked down, get right back up.
And never listen to anyone who says
you can't or shouldn't go on.
- Hilary Clinton
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Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall 
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.