Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Egomaniac Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
If being an egomaniac means I believe
in what I do and in my art or my music,
then in that respect you can call me that.
I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.
- John Lennon
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde 
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When life offers you a dream so far
beyond any of your expectations,
it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
Hunger makes a thief of any man.
- Pearl S. Buck
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
- Mark Twain
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Life is a continuity always and always.
There is no final destination it is going towards.
Just the pilgrimage, just the journey in itself is life,
not reaching to some point,
no goal - just dancing and being in pilgrimage,
moving joyously, without bothering about any destination.
- Osho
Nothing external to you has any power over you.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus
Any appeasement of tyranny is treason.
- William Allen White
I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln
The fear of death follows from the fear of life.
A man who lives fully, is prepared to die at any time.
- Mark Twain
No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver
If a man loses his reverence for any part of life,
he will lose his reverence for all of life.
- Albert Schweitzer
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree
is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Burton Hills
A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer
The dream you are living is your creation.
It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
It is a cursed evil to any man to become as absorbed
in any subject as I am in mine.
- Charles Darwin
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
- James Feibleman
Any man who reads too much
and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin
When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus
When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
How can any man be weak who dares to be at all?
- Henry David Thoreau
Change of any sort requires courage.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
God's Spirit moves through us and the world
at a pace that can never be constricted
by any one religious paradigm.
I love that.
- Bono
There is no person in this room whose basic rights
are not involved in any successful defiance
to the carrying out of court orders.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I like the silent church before the service begins,
better than any preaching.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greatest discovery of any generation
is that a human being
can alter his life by
altering his attitude
- William James
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein
Begin to act from your dominion.
Declare the truth by telling yourself
that there is nothing to be afraid of,
that you no longer entertain any images of fear.
- Ernest Holmes
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Choose to See Beauty and Joy:
Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill
Any statement that is self-serving
is likely to contain untruths.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When any situation arises which tempts you to become disturbed,
say: "There is another way of looking at this."
- A Course In Miracles
Under a government which imprisons any unjustly,
the true place for a just man is also a prison.
- Henry David Thoreau
The most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don't have any.
- Alice Walker
Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Most everything in life is about our
point-of-view rather than any absolute.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never will, by any word or act, bow to the shrine of intolerance
or admit a right of inquiry into the religious opinions of others.
- Thomas Jefferson
Thank you for visiting: Funny Egomaniac Quotes - Funny Quotes about Egomaniac.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.