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Let these funny Then Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain
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I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
If everyone demanded peace
instead of another television set,
then there'd be peace.
- John Lennon
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey
Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted
with the government of himself.
Can he, then be trusted with the government of others?
Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him?
Let history answer this question.
- Thomas Jefferson
If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela
Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa
Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every human life contains a potential,
if that potential is not fulfilled,
then that life was wasted...
- Carl Jung
Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch
Don't ask yourself what the world needs;
ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
- Howard Thurman
Laughter gives us distance.
It allows us to step back from an event,
deal with it and then move on.
- Bob Newhart
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal,
and then leap in the dark to our success.
- Henry David Thoreau
Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb
Touch me in the morning
Then just walk away
We don't have tomorrow
But we had yesterday
- Ron Miller/Michael Masser
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself.
You will then find out how easy it is to get along.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Once you know yourself as a genuine seeker,
and when your own inner chamber is quite enlightened,
then comes the natural unfoldment of pure love and compassion
and a genuine desire to serve others.
- Rod Stryker
Choose wisely - then act decisively. Do it today!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The beauty of facing life unprepared is tremendous.
Then life has a newness, a youth;
then life has a flow and freshness.
Then life has so many surprises.
And when life has so many surprises,
boredom never settles in you.
- Osho
"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll
You have to learn the rules of the game.
And then you have to play better than anyone else.
- Albert Einstein
Life is change. Without change, there is no life.
Why then do we so fight against change?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Practice yourself, for heaven's sake in little things,
and then proceed to greater.
- Epictetus
Does thou love life? Then do not squander time;
for that's the stuff life is made of.
- Benjamin Franklin
I do not know whether I was then
a man dreaming I was a butterfly,
or whether I am now
a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
- Zhuangzi
If people are good only because they
fear punishment, and hope for reward,
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
- Albert Einstein
I congratulate myself warmly for each accomplishment,
then ask, "What's next?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I am a legend, then why am I so lonely?
- Judy Garland
Play the game for more than you can afford to lose...
only then will you learn the game.
- Winston Churchill
I have found out in later years that we were very poor,
but the glory of America is that we didn't know it then.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
All your anxiety is because of your desire for harmony.
Seek disharmony, then you will gain peace.
- Rumi
First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus
Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln
Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith
Believe you can - and then make it happen.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I will do my best...
and then relax in the knowing
that I have done all I could.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is better to conquer yourself
than to win a thousand battles.
Then the victory is yours.
It cannot be taken from you,
not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
- The Buddha
If you wish to see the truth,
then hold no opinion for or against.
- Osho
When you see something done,
know that you intended it.
If you don't like what you see,
then deeply examine your intentions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home,
then go out in the street
and start grinning good morning
at total strangers.
- Maya Angelou
In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela
Sometimes it happens that a man's circle
of horizon becomes smaller and smaller,
and as the radius approaches zero
it concentrates on one point.
And then that becomes his point of view.
- David Hilbert
Friends are those rare people who ask how we are
and then wait to hear the answer.
- Anonymous
If physical death is the price
that I must pay to free my brothers and sisters
from a permanent death of the spirit,
then nothing can be more redemptive.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
- Will Durant (commonly attributed to Aristotle)
If everyone is moving forward together,
then success takes care of itself.
- Henry Ford
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.