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Funny Believe Quotes
Funny Quotes about Believe

Let these funny Believe Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein


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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason


 

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill

The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true.
- Francis Bacon

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

Simply put, you believe that things
or people make you unhappy,
but this is not accurate.
You make yourself unhappy.
- Wayne Dyer

Reality doesn't impress me.
I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy,
and when ordinary life shackles me,
I escape, one way or another.
No more walls.
- Anais Nin

I believe life's rich experiences need to be shared with others -
for me this is the way one builds knowledge.
- Pravs J

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe
others to be imperfect and try to change them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that a man is the strongest soldier
for daring to die unarmed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Shallow men believe in luck.
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Believe those who are seeking the truth.
Doubt those who find it.
- Andre Gide

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love
will have the final word in reality.
That is why right, temporarily defeated,
is stronger than evil triumphant.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities.
Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers
you cannot be successful or happy.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Believe in yourself. Dream big dreams.
Set important goals. Take action on those goals.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Positive thinking has acquired a bad reputation -
which I believe to be totally undeserved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Identify your assumptions (what you believe).
Question how you feel when you hold those assumptions.
Visualize holding different assumptions.
Ask yourself how it feels to hold a different world-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that every human mind feels pleasure
in doing good to another.
- Thomas Jefferson

I no doubt deserved my enemies,
but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
- Walt Whitman

If I am capable of grasping God objectively,
I do not believe, but precisely because
I cannot do this I must believe.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Faith consists in believing when it is
beyond the power of reason to believe.
- Voltaire

Believe you can - and then make it happen.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To accomplish great things,
we must not only act, but also dream;
not only plan, but also believe.
- Anatole France

I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I don't believe in killing whatever the reason!
- John Lennon

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe,
it can achieve.
- Napoleon Hill

If you believe that a task will be difficult, it will be -
and you will have suffered with worry beforehand.
Approach life with joy and optimism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe in yourself,
in your vision for your future
and in your ability to take a small step
each day toward achieving your vision.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's hard to believe, hard to be a believer,
when you see the way the things are in the world.
But I am a believer!
- Bono

Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous

Believe in yourself, and trust your own wisdom
rather than being swayed by the opinions of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

Stand often in the company of dreamers.
They believe you can achieve impossible things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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