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Funny Work Quotes
Funny Quotes about Work

Let these funny Work Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker


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As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley


 

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
- Proverb

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

We are free only if we face the challenge of freedom,
do the work of freedom, fight the fight of freedom
and die the death for freedom.
- Charles G. Adams

You are never given a wish without also
being given the power to make it true.
You may have to work for it, however.
- Richard Bach

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
- John Ruskin

By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy

There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford

It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning
wondering what my intuition
will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea.
I work with it and rely on it. It's my partner.
- Jonas Salk

I have not failed.
I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Edison

What a book a devil's chaplain might write
on the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low,
and horribly cruel work of nature!
- Charles Darwin

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Your work is to discover your world
and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
- The Buddha

The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa

The trick is in what one emphasizes.
We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same.
- Carlos Castaneda

What work I have done I have done because it has been play.
If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
- Mark Twain

If in our daily life we can smile,
if we can be peaceful and happy,
not only we, but everyone will profit from it.
This is the most basic kind of peace work.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work,
so most people don't recognize them.
- Ann Landers

If it is surely the means to the highest end we know,
can any work be humble or disgusting?
Will it not rather be elevating as a ladder,
the means by which we are translated?
- Henry David Thoreau

Let there be work, bread, water and salt for all.
- Nelson Mandela

The pay is good and I can walk to work.
- John F. Kennedy

We work with the people not out of pity
but out of respect for their potential for growth and development,
both as individuals and as communities.
- Jimmy Yen

I find that the harder I work,
the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson

There are no secrets to success.
It is the result of preparation,
hard work, and learning from failure.
- Colin Powell

Do not hire a man who does your work for money,
but him who does it for love of it.
- Henry David Thoreau

A leader is best when people barely know he exists;
when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say: we did it ourselves.
- Lao Tzu

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.
- Horace

The sum of wisdom is that
time is never lost that is devoted to work.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know the price of success: dedication, hard work,
and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Laziness may appear attractive,
but work gives satisfaction.
- Anne Frank

Some people dream of success
while others wake up and work hard at it.
- Anonymous

Work out your own salvation.
Do not depend on others.
- The Buddha

A leader is most effective when people barely know he exists.
When his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
his troops will feel they did it themselves.
- Lao Tzu

Leaders aren't born they are made.
And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.
And that's the price we'll have to pay
to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

Hard work pays off.
- Anonymous

Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
- Vince Lombardi

There is no substitute for hard work.
- Thomas Edison

Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond

It isn't enough to talk about peace.
One must believe in it.
And it isn't enough to believe in it.
One must work at it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell

Surround yourself with people who
take their work seriously,
but not themselves,
those who work hard and play hard.
- Colin Powell


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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