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Let these funny Albert Einstein Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein
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Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Science without religion is lame,
religion without science is blind.
- Albert Einstein
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
The faster you go, the shorter you are.
- Albert Einstein
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein
A question that sometimes drives me hazy:
am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein
Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
The difference between stupidity and genius
is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein
Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein
As far as I'm concerned, I prefer
silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
- Albert Einstein
Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
- Albert Einstein
He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein
Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein
It is strange to be known so universally
and yet to be so lonely.
- Albert Einstein
Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein
Never lose a holy curiosity.
- Albert Einstein
The only real valuable thing is intuition.
- Albert Einstein
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
Logic will get you from A to B.
Imagination will take you everywhere.
- Albert Einstein
Solitude is painful when one is young,
but delightful when one is more mature.
- Albert Einstein
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein
The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.
- Albert Einstein
Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein
Few are those who see with their own eyes
and feel with their own hearts.
- Albert Einstein
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
The process of scientific discovery is,
in effect, a continual flight from wonder.
- Albert Einstein
Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity
opinions which differ from
the prejudices of their social environment.
Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
- Albert Einstein
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
I live in that solitude which is painful in youth,
but delicious in the years of maturity.
- Albert Einstein
All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree.
- Albert Einstein
One may say the eternal mystery of the world
is its comprehensibility.
- Albert Einstein
My religion consists of a humble admiration
of the illimitable superior spirit
who reveals himself in the slight details we are able
to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
- Albert Einstein
Try not to become a man of success,
but rather try to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein
Great spirits have always encountered
violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein
Anyone who has never made a mistake,
has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
Everything that is really great and inspiring
is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
- Albert Einstein
Morality is of the highest importance -
but for us, not for God.
- Albert Einstein
Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
Problems cannot be solved at the same level
of awareness that created them.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.