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Let these funny Warring Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
There are always two forces warring against each other within us.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
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The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill
The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
- Winston Churchill
You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur
When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill
We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy
When the war of the giants is over,
the wars of the pygmies will begin.
- Winston Churchill
We have no enemies,
we have only friendships that we haven't yet developed
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
- Winston Churchill
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill
If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Winston Churchill
If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu
We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Winston Churchill
The great defense against the air menace
is to attack the enemy's aircraft
as near as possible to their point of departure.
- Winston Churchill
The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
We have not yet begun to fight.
- John Paul Jones
What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau
When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What counts is not necessarily
the size of the dog in the fight -
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower quoting Mark Twain
A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb
There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter
Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill
The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
I have seen enough of one war never to wish to see another.
- Thomas Jefferson
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
signifies in the final sense
a theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill
I abhor war and view it as the greatest scourge of mankind.
- Thomas Jefferson
The supreme art of war is
to subdue the enemy without fighting.
- Sun Tzu
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill
We cannot be both the world's leading champion of peace and
the world's leading supplier of the weapons of war.
- Jimmy Carter
Communism has never come to power in a country
that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both.
- John F. Kennedy
We must concentrate not merely on
the negative expulsion of war
but the positive affirmation of peace.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails,
and then asks you not to kill him.
- Winston Churchill
With Malice toward none, with charity for all,
with firmness in the right,
as God gives us to see the right,
let us strive on to finish the work we are in,
to bind up the nation's wounds.
- Abraham Lincoln
We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
- Winston Churchill
Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy
Strike against war, for without you
no battles can be fought!
- Helen Keller
Mankind must put an end to war
before war puts an end to mankind.
- John F. Kennedy
The Creator has not thought proper
to mark those in the forehead
who are of stuff to make good generals.
We are first, therefore, to seek them blindfold,
and then let them learn the trade
at the expense of great losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein
War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy
Never has there been a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.