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Let these funny Full Metal Jacket Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)
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A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs
Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver
I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy
Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the annoying things about believing in free will
and individual responsibility is the difficulty
of finding somebody to blame your problems on.
And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable
how often his picture turns up on your driver's license.
- P. J. O'Rourke
The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness
than to ask for permission.
- Grace Hopper
Often the hands will solve a mystery
that the intellect has struggled with in vain.
- Carl Jung
Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Indifference and neglect often
do much more damage than outright dislike.
- J. K. Rowling
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
- Helen Keller
In time we hate that which we often fear.
- William Shakespeare
From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.
- Socrates
Know that the darkest night is often
the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
By not caring too much about what people think,
I'm able to think for myself
and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular.
And I succeed.
- Albert Ellis
Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When I'm trusting and being myself...
everything in my life reflects this
by falling into place easily, often miraculously.
- Shakti Gawain
Success often grows best in the fertile soil of failure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar
When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller
All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
Our connection with Spirit is unbreakable, but often imperceptible.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is my day to laugh loud - laugh often
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Friendship often leads to love,
but lust seldom leads to friendship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Half a truth is often a great lie.
- Benjamin Franklin
Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.
- English Proverb
Great talents are the most lovely
and often the most dangerous
fruits on the tree of humanity.
They hang upon the most slender twigs
that are easily snapped off.
- Carl Jung
Books can only reveal us to ourselves,
and as often as they do us this service we lay them aside.
- Henry David Thoreau
What people often mean by getting rid of conflict
is getting rid of diversity,
and it is of the utmost importance
that these should not be considered the same.
- M. P. Follett
I have the right to love many people at once
and to change my prince often.
- Anais Nin
I think wholeness is God's design for us;
and that often amounts to embracing contradictions.
- Bono
Small opportunities are often
the beginning of great enterprises.
- Demosthenes
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein
Success is often the result of taking
a misstep in the right direction.
- Al Bernstein
Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Often, the greatest joy is to be found not in new things,
but in old things seen through new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.