Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Jewel Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel
In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous,
there's really nothing to lose.
- Jewel
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead.
- Jewel
I'd rather see the world from another angle
- Jewel
I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Forgiveness is the needle that knows how to mend.
- Jewel
I adore the human experience
- Jewel
Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous;
there's really nothing to lose.
There's no wrong you can't make right again,
so be kinder to yourself;
have fun, take chances. There are no bounds.
- Jewel
Through Love and through Beauty, we achieve immortality.
- Jewel (paraphrasing Plato)
The things you fear are undefeatable,
not by their nature, but by your approach.
- Jewel
Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel
I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel
My whole goal is to keep my spirit intact.
If that doesn't happen, none of this is worth it.
- Jewel
In silence you hear who you are becoming.
You create yourself.
- Jewel
Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom,
no longer lend your strength to that
which you wish to be free from.
Fill your life with love and bravery,
and you shall live a life uncommon.
- Jewel
Your life becomes what you believe.
- Jewel
Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel
Show me a man who knows his own heart
and to him I shall belong.
- Jewel
Who will save your soul if you won't save you own?
- Jewel
I'm becoming more and more myself with time.
I guess that's what grace is.
The refinement of your soul through time.
- Jewel
I will gather myself around my faith,
for light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel
I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel
Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower
Went up where the homeless had their home.
- Jewel
Reality is what you believe it to be.
It's what you put your thought and energy into,
because your hands physically manifest thought.
So your world becomes what you feel and what you think.
- Jewel
Ride With the Devil.
- Jewel
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
What we call human nature in actuality is human habit.
- Jewel
I love the contradictions of people
- Jewel
If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be we're all okay,
and not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
I won't be idle with despair,
I will gather myself around my faith.
Light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel
You have to realize: OK, I don't know how
to solve a political problem,
I don't know how to solve the pollution problem...
all I know is in my own life,
I need to figure out some sense of purpose,
I need to figure out how to be happy...
and I'm willing.
- Jewel
Gather yourself by the sea shore and I will love you there.
Assemble yourself with wild things,
with songs of the sparrow and sea-foam.
Let mad beauty collect itself in your eyes
and it will shine - Calling me.
For I long for a man with nests of wild things in his hair.
A man who will Kiss the Flame.
- Jewel
You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel
There are people selling thoughtlessness with such casualty.
- Jewel
We all should choose our friends carefully.
I used to think that no one could know me better than somebody else,
because you're inside yourself, your body, you can't see yourself.
If you think like that, you surround yourself with
other people who are willing to tell you who you are,
which are usually judgmental people ...
we should really surround ourselves with the ones
that adore us and believe in the highest of us.
- Jewel
I've always had a love for poetry,
and when I got signed to a record label I thought,
"How odd that I'm doing a record before a book of poetry."
- Jewel
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
Thank you for visiting: Funny Jewel Quotes - Funny Quotes about Jewel.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.