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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Other Quotes
Funny Quotes about Other

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Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II


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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


 

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson

In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we have no peace,
it is because we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves
- don Miguel Ruiz

Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz

As we let our light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence actually liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson

Just as a man would not cherish living
in a body other than his own,
so do nations not like to live under other nations,
however noble and great the latter may be.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You can't base your life on other people's expectations.
- Stevie Wonder

"Pride" is such a double-edged sword -
Self-Worth on one edge and Ego on the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

No house should ever be on a hill or on anything.
It should be of the hill. Belonging to it.
Hill and house should live together
each the happier for the other.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I have found that among its other benefits,
giving liberates the soul of the giver.
- Maya Angelou

You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter

When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell

To carry each other is not a burden at all
but a kind of privilege.
- Bono

You can choose to be peaceful right here and now ...
it has nothing to do with what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

There is a higher court than courts of justice
and that is the court of conscience.
It supersedes all other courts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Death is no more than passing from one room into another.
But there's a difference for me, you know.
Because in that other room I shall be able to see.
- Helen Keller

Many people excuse their own faults
but judge other persons harshly.
We should reverse this attitude
by excusing others' shortcomings
and by harshly examining our own.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

The best relationship is one in which
your love for each other
exceeds your need for each other.
- Anonymous

Common Sense is that which judges
the things given to it by other senses.
- Leonardo da Vinci

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare

Part of me suspects that I'm a loser,
and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.
- John Lennon

If I read a book that impresses me,
I have to take myself firmly in hand
before I mix with other people;
otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
- Anne Frank

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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