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Let these funny Scheme Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In war as in life, it is often necessary
when some cherished scheme has failed,
to take up the best alternative open,
and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might.
- Winston Churchill
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
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The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You can discover what your enemy fears most
by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
- Michael Moncur
When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill
When you are winning a war
almost everything that happens
can be claimed to be right and wise.
- Winston Churchill
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
- Winston Churchill
We have no enemies,
we have only friendships that we haven't yet developed
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The problems of victory are more agreeable
than those of defeat,
but they are no less difficult.
- Winston Churchill
When the war of the giants is over,
the wars of the pygmies will begin.
- Winston Churchill
We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years.
To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
- Winston Churchill
We have not yet begun to fight.
- John Paul Jones
What counts is not necessarily
the size of the dog in the fight -
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower quoting Mark Twain
What is human warfare but just this;
an effort to make the laws of God and
nature take sides with one party.
- Henry David Thoreau
A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter
When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee
The most terrible job in warfare is to be a second lieutenant
leading a platoon when you are on the battlefield.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.
- Winston Churchill
We may never be strong enough to be entirely
nonviolent in thought, word and deed.
But we must keep nonviolence as our goal
and make strong progress towards it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Never in the field of human conflict
was so much owed by so many to so few.
- Winston Churchill
The great defense against the air menace
is to attack the enemy's aircraft
as near as possible to their point of departure.
- Winston Churchill
All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu
The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill
When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Winston Churchill
If men can develop weapons that are so terrifying
as to make the thought of global war
include almost a sentence for suicide,
you would think that man's intelligence and his comprehension...
would include also his ability to find a peaceful solution.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver.
The greater the general, the more he contributes in maneuver,
the less he demands in slaughter.
- Winston Churchill
If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton
Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower
Went up where the homeless had their home.
- Jewel
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails,
and then asks you not to kill him.
- Winston Churchill
I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can,
only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The supreme art of war is
to subdue the enemy without fighting.
- Sun Tzu
Politics are very much like war.
We may even have to use poison gas at times.
- Winston Churchill
We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
- Winston Churchill
It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war
is nothing but an act of murder.
- Albert Einstein
The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist.
I am willing to fight for peace.
Nothing will end war unless
the people themselves refuse to go to war.
- Albert Einstein
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein
War is the ultimate tool of politics.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
If we are to teach real peace in this world,
and if we are to carry on a real war against war,
we shall have to begin with the children.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The Creator has not thought proper
to mark those in the forehead
who are of stuff to make good generals.
We are first, therefore, to seek them blindfold,
and then let them learn the trade
at the expense of great losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill
I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The most successful war seldom pays for its losses.
- Thomas Jefferson
Either war is obsolete, or men are.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I abhor war and view it as the greatest scourge of mankind.
- Thomas Jefferson
But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.