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Let these funny Alternative Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
In war as in life, it is often necessary
when some cherished scheme has failed,
to take up the best alternative open,
and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might.
- Winston Churchill
Patience is an ever present alternative
to the mind's endemic restlessness and impatience.
Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find
lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger.
It's the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are
and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it.
This doesn't mean you can't hurry when you have to.
It is possible even to hurry patiently, mindfully,
moving fast because you have chosen to.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
Dance like no one is watching,
love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live life like it's heaven on earth.
- Anonymous (various attributions and alternate phrasings)
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The pendulum of the mind alternates
between sense and nonsense,
not between right and wrong.
- Carl Jung
Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus
To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl Jung
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk
There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Dare to be naive.
- Buckminster Fuller
As selfishness and complaint
pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy
clears and sharpens the vision.
- Helen Keller
No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it.
- Albert Einstein
Happiness is a state of mind.
- Anonymous
Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar
Genuine heroes - no batteries needed -
bring lots of open-mind and at least a little courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.
- Charlotte Bronte
The most dangerous phrase in the language is,
"We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers
of acting and reasoning as fear.
- Edmund Burke
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman
Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as
your own unguarded thoughts.
- The Buddha
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
Education is not the filling of a pail,
but the lighting of a fire.
- William Butler Yeats
The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky
Free-Will is the key to the prison of the mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein
Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller
If I read a book that impresses me,
I have to take myself firmly in hand
before I mix with other people;
otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
- Anne Frank
Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver
Approach life with an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
How different our lives are when we
really know what is deeply important to us,
and keeping that picture in mind,
we manage ourselves each day
to be and to do what really matters most
- Stephen Covey
This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho
The mind is everything.
What you think you become.
- The Buddha
My Mind Sparks; My Soul Sparkles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able
to entertain a thought without accepting it.
- Aristotle
Opening my mind to Spirit, I trust my intuition to deliver
powerful visions of my inspired future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To educate a person in mind and not in morals
is to educate a menace to society.
- Theodore Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.