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Let these funny Best Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
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Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous
Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
- Anonymous
The price of success is hard work,
dedication to the job at hand,
and the determination that whether we win or lose,
we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
- Vince Lombardi
I did not wish to take a cabin passage,
but rather to go before the mast
and on the deck of the world,
for there I could best see
the moonlight amid the mountains.
I do not wish to go below now.
- Henry David Thoreau
The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
- The Buddha
Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments -
without comparing yourself to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never had a policy;
I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
- Abraham Lincoln
Walking is the best possible exercise.
Habituate yourself to walk very fast.
- Thomas Jefferson
I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln
The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself.
- Erica Jong
The best way to cheer yourself
is to try to cheer someone else up.
- Mark Twain
Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work
for which he is best suited.
- Napoleon Hill
It is best to avoid the beginnings of evil.
- Henry David Thoreau
When you do your best
you learn to accept yourself
- don Miguel Ruiz
Borrowing knowledge of reality from all sources,
taking the best from every study,
Science of Mind brings together
the highest enlightenment of the ages.
- Ernest Holmes
The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Success often grows best in the fertile soil of failure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
That government is best which governs the least,
because its people discipline themselves.
- Thomas Jefferson
Far and away the best prize that life has to offer
is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
The best comfort I could offer
was to just let her tell her story.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.