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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Best Quotes
Funny Quotes about Best

Let these funny Best Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous


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Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous


 

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff

Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould

Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous

There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
- Anonymous

The price of success is hard work,
dedication to the job at hand,
and the determination that whether we win or lose,
we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.
- Vince Lombardi

I did not wish to take a cabin passage,
but rather to go before the mast
and on the deck of the world,
for there I could best see
the moonlight amid the mountains.
I do not wish to go below now.
- Henry David Thoreau

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
- The Buddha

Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments -
without comparing yourself to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I never had a policy;
I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
- Abraham Lincoln

Walking is the best possible exercise.
Habituate yourself to walk very fast.
- Thomas Jefferson

I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself.
- Erica Jong

The best way to cheer yourself
is to try to cheer someone else up.
- Mark Twain

Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work
for which he is best suited.
- Napoleon Hill

It is best to avoid the beginnings of evil.
- Henry David Thoreau

When you do your best
you learn to accept yourself
- don Miguel Ruiz

Borrowing knowledge of reality from all sources,
taking the best from every study,
Science of Mind brings together
the highest enlightenment of the ages.
- Ernest Holmes

The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Success often grows best in the fertile soil of failure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

That government is best which governs the least,
because its people discipline themselves.
- Thomas Jefferson

Far and away the best prize that life has to offer
is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
- Theodore Roosevelt

The best comfort I could offer
was to just let her tell her story.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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