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Let these funny Putting Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
When you see someone putting on his Big Boots,
you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
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True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A lie travels round the world while
truth is putting her boots on.
- French Proverb
(also attributed to Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, and others)
Faith is trusting in the good.
Fear is putting your trust in the bad.
- Rhonda Byrne
If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
Death is not extinguishing the light;
it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
- Rabindranath Tagore
What you don't do daily, you probably won't do weekly either.
What you make a habit of putting-off
just keeps getting pushed away again and again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
It is easier to put on slippers
than to carpet the entire world
- Al Franken
My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump
When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
No duty the Executive had to perform was so trying
as to put the right man in the right place.
- Thomas Jefferson
Mankind must put an end to war
before war puts an end to mankind.
- John F. Kennedy
Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do...
but how much love we put in that action.
- Mother Teresa
Reality is what you believe it to be.
It's what you put your thought and energy into,
because your hands physically manifest thought.
So your world becomes what you feel and what you think.
- Jewel
Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
An idea that is developed and put into action
is more important than
an idea that exists only as an idea.
- The Buddha
If you want to be happy,
put your effort into controlling the sail, not the wind.
- Anonymous
Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will.
Its seat is in the heart,
and it must be an inseparable part of our being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead
It is not the magnitude of our actions
but the amount of love
that is put into them that matters.
- Mother Teresa
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others,
you should put a good deal of thought
into the happiness that you are able to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
- Michael W. Smith
What's the use of a fine house if you haven't got
a tolerable planet to put it on?
- Henry David Thoreau
Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air.
They are where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes
You can do anything you put your mind to.
- Anonymous
Nobody has ever asked the nuclear family to live
all by itself in a box the way we do.
With no relatives, no support,
we've put it in an impossible situation.
- Margaret Mead
Never put passion before principle.
Even if win, you lose.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2
If you paint in your mind a picture of
bright and happy expectations,
you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Only put off until tomorrow
what you are willing to die having left undone.
- Pablo Picasso
What I recognized is that you can't put it together.
It's already together, and what you have to do
is experience it being together.
- Werner Erhard
Put on your own oxygen mask first.
- Airline companies
Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln
Are creeds such simple things like the clothes
which a man can change at will - and put on at will?
Creeds are such for which people live for ages and ages.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Simply put, you believe that things
or people make you unhappy,
but this is not accurate.
You make yourself unhappy.
- Wayne Dyer
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank
Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Angry and happy don't mix.
Flush out the angry,
and the happy has a place to put down roots.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Let us honor all children,
and put ourselves into service
preparing a magnificent
earthly home for future generations.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You only get out what you put in.
- Anonymous
Put some distance between yourself
and whatever is concerning you.
Distance in space or time
always creates a new perspective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Gardening is all about optimism.
I put a seed in the ground.
I consistently tend it,
confident I will see the results, in time,
of the nurture I have provided.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy
One is taught by experience to put a premium
on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
- Gail Godwin
Only love has the ability to put you in that state of bliss
- don Miguel Ruiz
I put aside personal preferences and step forward to be of service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Who were you before you put yourself last.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
- Thomas Jefferson
(also attributed to Benjamin Franklin and Lord Chesterfield)
Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy
Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.