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Let these funny Leonardo da Vinci Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
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Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci 
Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams
than the imagination when awake?
- Leonardo da Vinci
All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
You do ill if you praise, but worse
if you censure, what you do not understand.
- Leonardo da Vinci
It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci
A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
- Leonardo da Vinci
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Learning never exhausts the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I love those who can smile in trouble,
who can gather strength from distress,
and grow brave by reflection.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The smallest feline is a masterpiece.
- Leonardo da Vinci
For once you have tasted flight
you will walk the earth
with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been
and there you will long to return.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Nature never breaks her own laws.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Water is the driving force of all nature.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Who sows virtue reaps honor.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Common Sense is that which judges
the things given to it by other senses.
- Leonardo da Vinci
It's easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
- Leonardo da Vinci
He who is fixed to a star
does not change his mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Men of lofty genius,
when they are doing the least work,
are most active.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Make your work to be in keeping with your purpose.
- Leonardo da Vinci
You can have no dominion greater or
less than that over yourself.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Experience does not err.
Only your judgments err by expecting from her
what is not in her power.
- Leonardo da Vinci
While I thought that I was learning how to live,
I have been learning how to die.
- Leonardo da Vinci
In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci
There are three classes of people:
those who see,
those who see when they are shown,
those who do not see.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority
is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.
- Leonardo da Vinci
As every divided kingdom falls,
so every mind divided between
many studies confounds and saps itself.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Beyond a doubt, truth bears the same relation
to falsehood as light to darkness.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Human subtlety will never devise an invention
more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature,
because in her inventions nothing is lacking,
and nothing is superfluous.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Art is never finished, only abandoned.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Blinding ignorance does mislead us.
Oh Wretched mortals, open your eyes!
- Leonardo da Vinci
Our life is made by the death of others.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The truth of things is the chief nutriment
of superior intellects.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The poet ranks far below the painter
in the representation of visible things,
and far below the musician in that of invisible things.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Where the spirit does not work with the hand,
there is no art.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Just as courage imperils life, fear protects it.
- Leonardo da Vinci
He who wishes to be rich in a day will be hanged in a year.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Life well spent is long.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience
it is necessary for us to do the opposite,
that is to commence with experience
and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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