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Funny Until Quotes
Funny Quotes about Until

Let these funny Until Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill


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No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

Customs do not concern themselves
with right or wrong or reason.
But they have to be obeyed;
one reasons all around them until he is tired,
but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
- Mark Twain

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
- Carl Jung

The power of intuitive understanding
will protect you from harm until the end of your days.
- Lao Tzu

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
- Carl Jung

People don't care how much you know
until they know how much they care.
- John C. Maxwell

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

Not until we are lost
do we begin to understand ourselves.
- Henry David Thoreau

We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt
until they are too strong to be broken.
- Samuel Johnson

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We can never obtain peace in the outer world
until we make peace with ourselves.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

You never really understand a person
until you consider things from his point of view.
- Harper Lee

An individual has not started living
until he can rise above the narrow confines
of his individualistic concerns
to the broader concerns of all humanity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.
The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb

The regrets and resentments etched in a heart
remain until they are cleansed away with love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It always seems impossible until its done.
- Nelson Mandela

A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain

Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin

Everyone is wise, until he speaks.
- Irish proverb

Until he extends the circle of
his compassion to all living things,
man will not himself find peace.
- Albert Schweitzer

Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.
I can never be what I ought to be
until you are what you ought to be.
This is the interrelated structure of reality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher

Things are only impossible until they're not.
- Jean-Luc Picard, character in STAR TREK: The Next Generation

One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln

Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous

The way to do fieldwork is never to
come up for air until it is all over.
- Margaret Mead

A friend is someone who won't stop
until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South

Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
- Michael W. Smith

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.
- old Persian Proverb

Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy
until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy

As a happy person, you radiate happiness to the world.
Visualize your light radiating throughout the world,
passing from person to person until it encircles the globe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only put off until tomorrow
what you are willing to die having left undone.
- Pablo Picasso

Death comes to all,
but great achievements build a monument
which shall endure until the sun grows cold.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent
will not pass until there is
an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have found the paradox,
that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt, only more love.
- Mother Teresa

A man can fail many times,
but he isn't a failure until
he begins to blame somebody else.
- John Burroughs

How you think when you lose
determines how long it will be until you win.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

No one knows what he can do until he tries.
- Publilius Syrus

We don't appreciate what we have until it's gone.
Freedom is like that. It's like air.
When you have it, you don't notice it.
- Boris Yeltsin

Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until
we have been stuck, incapacitated,
or blown off course for awhile.
- David Whyte

Know that you cannot create great new beginnings
until you sincerely celebrate the endings that precede them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe in everything until it's disproved.
So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons.
It all exists, even if it's in your mind.
Who's to say that dreams and nightmares
aren't as real as the here and now?
- John Lennon

Start living now.
Stop saving the good china
for that special occasion.
Stop withholding your love
until that special person materializes.
Every day you are alive is a special occasion.
Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
- Mary Manin Morrissey

Overflowing Cup of Tea:
The Zen Master poured his visitor's teacup full, and then kept pouring.
The visitor watched until he could no longer restrain himself.
"It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the Zen Master said,
"you are full of your own opinions and assumptions.
How can you learn truth until you first empty your cup?"
- Traditional Zen Koan

May the road rise up to meet you,
may the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face
and the rain fall softly on your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
- Irish Blessing

There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Then came Peter to him, and said,
Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me,
and I forgive him? till seven times?
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee,
Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
- Matthew 18:21-22


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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