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Let these funny Napoleon Hill Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
Do it Now!
- Napoleon Hill
Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill
Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)
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The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.
- Napoleon Hill
Patience, persistence and perspiration
make an unbeatable combination for success.
- Napoleon Hill
Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children
of the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.
- Napoleon Hill
Whatever the mind can conceive and believe,
it can achieve.
- Napoleon Hill
No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -
unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Success... A goal is a dream with a deadline.
- Napoleon Hill
A goal is a dream with a deadline.
- Napoleon Hill
The starting point of all achievement is desire.
- Napoleon Hill
Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work
for which he is best suited.
- Napoleon Hill
Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts.
If you don't control what you think,
you can't control what you do.
Simply, self-discipline enables you
to think first and act afterward.
- Napoleon Hill
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
Procrastination is the thief of time.
- Edward Young
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
His answer trickled through my head like water through a sieve.
- Lewis Carroll
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
- Lewis Carroll
Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy
It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono
When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart
Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.