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Let these funny Precisely Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Become more and more innocent,
less knowledgeable and more childlike.
Take life as fun -
because that's precisely what it is!
- Osho
One defeats a fanatic precisely by not being a fanatic oneself,
but on the contrary by using one's intelligence.
- George Orwell
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If I am capable of grasping God objectively,
I do not believe, but precisely because
I cannot do this I must believe.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat,
for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator,
while the wolf denounces him for the same act
as the destroyer of liberty,
especially as the sheep was a black one.
Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed
upon a definition of the word liberty;
and precisely the same difference
prevails today among us human creatures
- Abraham Lincoln
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell
He who lives in harmony with himself
lives in harmony with the universe.
- Marcus Aurelius
The moral arc of the universe
bends at the elbow of justice.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life is a mask through which the universe expresses itself.
- Frank Herbert
The universe is full of magical things
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
- Eden Phillpotts
There is a power for good in the universe
greater than you are and you can use it.
- Ernest Holmes
I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserves your love and affection.
- The Buddha
The universe must exist for the self-expression
of God and the delight of God.
- Ernest Holmes
We live in a spiritual Universe.
God is in, through, around and for us.
- Ernest Holmes
The Universe is one great kindergarten for man.
Everything that exists has brought
with it its own peculiar lesson.
- Orison Swett Marden
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin
In our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.
- Deepak Chopra
I look for what needs to be done.
After all, that's how the universe designs itself.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The cathedral of my God of no church
is the entirety of the universe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As you simplify your life,
the laws of the universe will be simpler;
solitude will not be solitude,
poverty will not be poverty,
nor weakness weakness.
- Henry David Thoreau
At the deepest level, there is no giver, no gift, and no recipient...
only the universe rearranging itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
We live in a spiritual Universe.
- Ernest Holmes
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking
The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
- John Muir
There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mind exists as a Principle in the universe,
just as electricity exists as a principle.
- Ernest Holmes
To discover joy is to return to
a state of oneness with the universe.
- Peggy Jenkins
When prayer removes distrust and doubt
and enters the field of mental certainty,
it becomes faith; and the universe is built on faith.
- Ernest Holmes
Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
- Lao Tzu
A mind at peace, a mind centered
and not focused on harming others,
is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
- Wayne Dyer
Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When we try to pick out anything by itself,
we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
- John Muir
All the energy of the universe is mine
to use as spirit directs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know thyself, and thou shalt know the Universe and God.
- Pythagoras
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
Gratitude in advance is the most powerful
creative force in the universe.
- Neale Donald Walsch
The mind of man is continuously unfolding
into a greater recognition of its real plan
in the creative order of the Universe.
- Ernest Holmes
The universe is wider than our views of it.
- Henry David Thoreau
I am one with the power and wisdom of the Universe.
I have all that I need.
- Louise L. Hay
Know that miracles are the natural way of the Universe
Your only job is to move your doubting mind out of the way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
That deep emotional conviction of the presence
of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed
in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.
- Albert Einstein
The manifest universe is the body of God ...
all people are incarnations of the One Spirit.
- Ernest Holmes
I am so honored that the Power of the Universe
has chosen for me to be ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is impossible for a man to conceal himself.
In every act, word or gesture,
he stands revealed as he is,
and not as he would have himself appear to be.
From the Universe, nothing is or can be hidden.
- Ernest Holmes
When you are tempted to judge,
may you be reminded that we are ALL ONE,
and that every thought you think reverberates
across the universe touching everyone and everything.
- from the Simple Truths movie May You Be Blessed
The secret of merging with Spirit
and recognizing the oneness of the whole Universe
cannot be learned in a lifetime, but can be revealed in a moment,
for it has always lived within each and every one of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop,
striped and dotted with continents and islands,
flying through space with other stars
all singing and shining together as one,
the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty.
- John Muir
There is an orderliness in the universe,
there is an unalterable law governing everything
and every being that exists or lives.
It is no blind law; for no blind law can govern
the conduct of living beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Simply see that you are at the center of the universe,
and accept all things and beings
as parts of your infinite body.
When you perceive that an act done to another
is done to yourself,
you have understood the great truth.
- Lao Tzu
Gratitude is an attitude that
hooks us up to our source of supply.
And the more grateful you are,
the closer you become to your maker,
to the architect of the universe,
to the spiritual core of your being.
- Bob Proctor
What is a miracle? To some, it is an act of God.
To others, something amazing, extraordinary, or unexpected.
To me, Life is a miracle.
Everything that happens is a miracle.
There is no reason for me to exist as I do -
no reason for humanity, the universe, or the laws of Nature.
Energy, mass, gravity and the rest of existence
are all so improbable.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
New Year's eve is like every other night;
there is no pause in the march of the universe,
no breathless moment of silence among created things
that the passage of another twelve months may be noted;
and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening
that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.
- Hamilton Wright Mabie
We are all connected to everyone and everything in the universe.
Therefore, everything one does as an individual affects the whole.
All thoughts, words, images, prayers, blessings,
and deeds are listened to by all that is.
- Serge Kahili King
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone
who is more deserving of your
love and affection than you are yourself,
and that person is not to be found anywhere.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe
deserve your love and affection.
- The Buddha
I am a unique expression
of the universal fabric of creation;
I am that I am that I am.
In the eternity of all creation,
I am the only ME that ever will be;
and I am so honored that the Power of the Universe
has chosen for me to be ME.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Truth is something which can't be told in a few words.
Those who simplify the universe
only reduce the expansion of its meaning.
- Anais Nin
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.