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Let these funny Park Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker
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In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?
- Sarah Jessica Parker
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
Procrastination is the thief of time.
- Edward Young
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Correcting bad habits cannot be done
by forbidding or punishment.
- Robert Baden-Powell (the founder of scouting)
A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb
Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.
- Jim Horning
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Every form of addiction is bad,
no matter whether the narcotic
be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
- Carl Jung
I find that he is happiest
of whom the world says least, good or bad.
- Thomas Jefferson
Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you look for the bad in people
expecting to find it, you surely will.
- Abraham Lincoln
The only thing worse than a bad day is no day at all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Positive thinking has acquired a bad reputation -
which I believe to be totally undeserved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company.
- Jean-Paul Sartre
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression
and cruelty by the bad people
but the silence over that by the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship,
and it is far the best ending for one.
- Oscar Wilde
The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler
Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Bad times have a scientific value.
These are occasions a good learner would not miss.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is no odor so bad as that
which arises from goodness tainted.
- Henry David Thoreau
Experience life in all possible ways -
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter.
Experience all the dualities.
Don't be afraid of experience,
because the more experience you have,
the more mature you become.
- Osho
There was never a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin
We cannot make good news out of bad practice.
- Edward R. Murrow
The best way to get a bad law repealed
is to enforce it strictly.
- Abraham Lincoln
Judgment is discernment on a bad hair day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Don't take rejection personally.
Don't let someone else's bad day spoil your day.
As long as you never reject yourself, you'll be fine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Faith is trusting in the good.
Fear is putting your trust in the bad.
- Rhonda Byrne
The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.
- William Shakespeare
We will have to repent in this generation,
not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people,
but for the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Let me give you a definition of ethics:
It is good to maintain and further life
it is bad to damage and destroy life.
- Albert Schweitzer
Never has there been a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin
About morals: I know only that
what is moral is what you feel good after
and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.
- Ernest Hemingway
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy
It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.
- Benjamin Franklin
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed,
easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
- Proverb
I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel
There is nothing either good or bad,
but thinking makes it so.
- William Shakespeare
My reading of history convinces me that most bad government
results from too much government.
- Thomas Jefferson
History, in general, only informs us of what bad government is.
- Thomas Jefferson
When I do good, I feel good.
When I do bad, I feel bad.
That's my religion.
- Abraham Lincoln
During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
And finally I twist my heart round again,
so that the bad is on the outside
and the good is on the inside,
and keep on trying to find a way of becoming
what I would so like to be, and could be,
if there weren't any other people living in the world.
- Anne Frank
In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong
The good news is that you aren't
as important as you thought you were.
Relax. The weight of the world
is not on your shoulders.
Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your worst days are never so bad
that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.
And your best days are never so good
that you are beyond the need of God's grace.
- Anonymous
Ever had a bad hair day -
a day when everything seemed to be going wrong?
Perhaps today is a day to soothe your ruffled feathers,
take a deep breath, and reaffirm that
the weight of the world is really not on your shoulders,
unless you choose to assume that burden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.