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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Anything Quotes
Funny Quotes about Anything

Let these funny Anything Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
- Henry David Thoreau

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde


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If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain


 

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

Life is short,
Break the Rules.
Forgive quickly,
Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly.
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret
ANYTHING
That makes you smile
- Mark Twain

Anything that costs you more hours of effort or worry
than it brings you hours of enjoyment
is a candidate for downsizing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong

Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller

Anything I can not transform
into something marvelous, I let go.
- Anais Nin

No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
- Alexander Hamilton

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
- Carl Jung

People will do anything, no matter how absurd,
to avoid facing their own souls.
- Carl Jung

You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar

If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
- Carl Jung

The Four Agreements
1.Be impeccable with your word.
2.Don't take anything personally.
3.Don't make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.
- don Miguel Ruiz

If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden

If you love it enough, anything will talk with you.
- George Washington Carver

I am never going to have anything more to do
with politics or politicians.
When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
to writing and painting.
- Winston Churchill

Do what nobody else can do for you.
Omit to do anything else.
- Henry David Thoreau

You go against yourself when you
judge or blame yourself for anything
- don Miguel Ruiz

Never do anything against conscience
even if the state demands it.
- Albert Einstein

If a warrior is to succeed at anything,
the success must come gently,
with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.
- Carlos Castaneda

When we try to pick out anything by itself,
we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
- John Muir

A man is truly ethical only when he obeys
the compulsion to help all life which he is able to assist,
and shrinks from injuring anything that lives.
- Albert Schweitzer

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white.
Neither need you do anything but be yourself.
- Lao Tzu

Anyone who has never made a mistake,
has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

Is freedom anything else than the right
to live as we wish? Nothing else.
- Epictetus

We can do anything we want to
if we stick to it long enough.
- Helen Keller

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing

The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm
but because of those who look at it without doing anything.
- Albert Einstein

Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

In true friendship, one can express
anything and everything without feeling ashamed
or afraid of being rejected.
- Aparna Chatterjee

Bold, Wild, and Colorful -
Why Be Anything Less?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution.
That must be maintained, for it is
the only safeguard of our liberties.
- Abraham Lincoln

You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
- James Allen

One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton

Leaders aren't born they are made.
And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.
And that's the price we'll have to pay
to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi

Use what language you will,
you can never say anything but what you are.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't be against anything -
e.g. don't be against war, be FOR peace
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can have anything you want in life if you
just help enough other people get what they want.
- Zig Ziglar

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful,
for beauty is God's handwriting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is hardly possible to build anything,
if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail.
- Lech Walesa

Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw

The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
- Amelia Earhart

We hardly ever realize that we can
cut anything out of our lives,
anytime, in the blink of an eye.
- Carlos Castaneda

Don't take anything personally.
- don Miguel Ruiz

To love what you do and feel that it matters,
how on earth could anything be more fun.
- Katherine Graham

I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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