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Let these funny Counsel Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never take counsel of your fears.
- Andrew Jackson
It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
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The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.
- Aristotle Onassis
Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton
The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.
- Albert Einstein
Ordinary life does not interest me.
I seek only the high moments.
I am in accord with the surrealists,
searching for the marvelous.
- Anais Nin
When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton
Like an Eagle, May You Always Soar
High Above the Troubles of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Instead of needing lots of children,
we need high-quality children.
- Margaret Mead
Like an Eagle, I Soar High Above the Troubles of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never bend your head. Always hold it high.
Look the world straight in the eye.
- Helen Keller
I soar on eagle wings,
high above the madness of the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.
Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you are over 30, get out your high-school yearbook
and look for ideas you can apply today -
perhaps an innocent optimism about life -
perhaps a hobby you loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The cost of freedom is always high,
but Americans have always paid it.
And one path we shall never choose,
and that is the path of surrender, or submission.
- John F. Kennedy
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
- William Blake
Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal
of plain living and high thinking
the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants.
Man's happiness really lies in contentment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Life is not about how fast you run
or how high you climb
but how well you bounce.
- Vivian Komori
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In this outward and physical ceremony,
we attest once again to the inner
and spiritual strength of our Nation.
As my high school teacher, Miss Julia Coleman, used to say:
"We must adjust to changing times,
and still hold to unchanging principles."
- Jimmy Carter
The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present.
The occasion is piled high with difficulty,
and we must rise with the occasion.
As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
- Abraham Lincoln
Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply
about what you believe in.
When you stumble, keep faith.
When you're knocked down, get right back up.
And never listen to anyone who says
you can't or shouldn't go on.
- Hilary Clinton
What if happiness were found in the serenity of simple pleasures.
What if we didn't need the newest gizmo... the highest high?
What if happiness is in the air we breathe...
slowly, deeply, and consciously?
What if happiness is one fresh grape, savored with gratitude?
What if happiness is in our oneness with all creation?
What if happiness is about enjoying life exactly as it comes to us -
without chasing after it?
What if happiness is something we CHOOSE...
regardless of our circumstances?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sweetest Lord, make me appreciative
of the dignity of my high vocation,
and its many responsibilities.
Never permit me to disgrace it by giving way
to coldness, unkindness, or impatience.
- Mother Teresa
Great men, unknown to their generation,
have their fame among the great who have preceded them,
and all true worldly fame subsides
from their high estimate beyond the stars.
- Henry David Thoreau
Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour
when every one has to throw off his mask?
Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked?
Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight
in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it?
I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others
that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;...
In every man there is something which to a certain degree
prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself;
and this may be the case in so high a degree,
he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life
which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself.
But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love,
and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Training - training is everything; training is all there is to a person.
We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature;
what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training.
We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own;
they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
All that is original in us, and therefore fairly creditable
or discreditable to us, can be covered up and hidden
by the point of a cambric needle, all the rest being atoms
contributed by, and inherited from, a procession of ancestors
that stretches back a billion years to the Adam-clam
or grasshopper or monkey from whom our race has been
so tediously and ostentatiously and unprofitably developed.
And as for me, all that I think about in this plodding sad pilgrimage,
this pathetic drift between the eternities,
is to look out and humbly live a pure and high and blameless life,
and save that one microscopic atom in me that is truly me:
the rest may land in Sheol and welcome for all I care.
- Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.