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Let these funny Heard Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson
If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
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Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
- Lao Tzu
The highest and most beautiful things in life
are not to be heard about, nor read about, nor seen but,
if one will, are to be lived.
- Soren Kierkegaard
When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton
Knowledge is soon changed, then lost in the mist, an echo half-heard.
- Gene Wolfe
There are many answers you have received
but have not yet heard.
- A Course In Miracles
All that glisters is not gold;
Often have you heard that told.
Many a man his life hath sold
but my outside to behold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.
- William Shakespeare
You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44
If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
Everyone has an opinion on many subjects
and is ready to share those opinions -
labeling them as "truth."
Sometimes it is relatively easy
to filter out these opinions.
Upon hearing an ad for the latest
weight-loss powder on late-night TV,
our skepticism leaps to our defense.
However, if we have heard the same opinion for years
from our parents, friends,
government officials, or religious leaders,
we are more likely to believe without questioning
than to raise our filter of skepticism
and ask the hard questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
(Jesus on Love)
You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies
and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44
Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw,
hear what you heard, feel what you felt.
Relevant detail, couched in concrete,
colorful language, is the best way
to recreate the incident as it happened
and to picture it for the audience.
- Dale Carnegie
(Jesus on Anger and Revenge)
You have heard that it was said,
"Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth."
But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.
If someone strikes you on the right cheek,
turn to him the other also.
- Matthew 5:38-39
Love Your Enemies
Ye have heard that it hath been said,
Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
- Jesus of Nazareth (Matthew 5:43-44)
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa
Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has.
- Billy Graham
For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
This too, shall pass.
- Bible
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17
A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10
We are all pencils in the hand of God.
- Mother Teresa
Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
- Mother Teresa
Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken
Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa
The great gift of Easter is hope -
Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God,
in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love,
which nothing can shake.
- Basil C. Hume
To be a Christian without prayer
is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
The most telling act of true Faith
is celebrating the death of a loved one
with the certain knowledge that
they are now in a better place.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous
Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Forgive Your Brother from Your Heart.
- Matthew 18:21-22
If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi
When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain
Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)
Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth
It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- Proverbs 23:7
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish he didn't trust me so much.
- Mother Teresa
Let us not be satisfied with just giving money.
Money is not enough, money can be got,
but they need your hearts to love them.
So, spread your love everywhere you go.
- Mother Teresa
God sometimes does try to the uttermost
those whom he wishes to bless.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you, and pray for them
which despitefully use you and persecute you.
- Matthew 5:44
God has given us two hands, one to receive with
and the other to give with.
- Billy Graham
Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
- Matthew 7:7
Our prayers should be for blessings in general,
for God knows best what is good for us.
- Socrates
Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.
- St. Francis of Assisi
Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.
- Mother Teresa
God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
- Albert Einstein
The Spirit is described in the Holy Scriptures
as much more anarchic than any established religion credits.
- Bono
Our creator is the same and never changes
despite the names given Him by people here
and in all parts of the world.
Even if we gave Him no name at all,
He would still be there, within us,
waiting to give us good on this earth.
- George Washington Carver
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.