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Let these funny Subtle Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill
God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
- Albert Einstein
It is a wonderful advantage to a man,
in every pursuit or avocation,
to secure an adviser in a sensible woman.
In woman there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact,
and a plain soundness of judgement,
which are rarely combined to an equal degree in man.
A woman, if she be really your friend,
will have a sensitive regard for your character, honor, repute.
She will seldom counsel you to do a shabby thing:
for a woman friend always desires to be proud of you.
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Patience is an ever present alternative
to the mind's endemic restlessness and impatience.
Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find
lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger.
It's the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are
and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it.
This doesn't mean you can't hurry when you have to.
It is possible even to hurry patiently, mindfully,
moving fast because you have chosen to.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
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A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.
- George Savile
Patience, persistence, and perseverance.
A little more each day, a little better each day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Haste is blind and improvident.
- Titus Livius (Livy)
Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every calamity is to be overcome by endurance.
- Virgil
I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
- Abraham Lincoln
Keep moving. Don't stop. But don't rush.
Don't race around.
Sure and steady gets you there every time.
- Neale Donald Walsch
No great thing is created suddenly.
- Epictetus
A jug fills drop by drop.
- The Buddha
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word happy would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better take things as they come along
with patience and equanimity.
- Carl Jung
Spirit has unlimited patience,
and will wait for me to evolve.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Patience, persistence and perspiration
make an unbeatable combination for success.
- Napoleon Hill
I have just three things to teach:
simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
- Lao Tzu
Everything that slows us down and forces patience,
everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature,
is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.
- May Sarton
If you really aren't trying to get anywhere else in this moment,
patience takes care of itself.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous
If patience is worth anything,
it must endure to the end of time.
And a living faith will last
in the midst of the blackest storm.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Patience is a form of wisdom.
It demonstrates that we understand and accept
the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
The key to everything is patience.
You get the chicken by hatching the egg,
not by smashing it open.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Stop! Breathe deeply.
Begin bringing peace to the outer world
by regaining your own inner peace.
Choose love, choose gratitude,
choose forgiveness, choose peace.
Begin with your own inner peace.
Then use that inner peace
as a platform from which
to approach the outer world
with perspective, understanding, and patience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are nine requisites for contented living:
HEALTH enough to make work a pleasure;
WEALTH enough to support your needs;
STRENGTH enough to battle with difficulties and forsake them;
GRACE enough to confess your sins and overcome them;
PATIENCE enough to toil until some good is accomplished;
CHARITY enough to see some good in your neighbor;
LOVE enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others;
FAITH enough to make real the things of God;
HOPE enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.