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Let these funny Conviction Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If you would convince others,
seem open to conviction yourself.
- Lord Chesterfield
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction
is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please,
or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The one serious conviction that a man should have
is that nothing should be taken too seriously.
- Nicholas Murray Butler
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The supreme happiness of life
is the conviction of being loved for yourself,
or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.
- Victor Hugo
That deep emotional conviction of the presence
of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed
in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.
- Albert Einstein
A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved.
He inspires the power and energy to get it done.
- Ralph Nader
It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war
is nothing but an act of murder.
- Albert Einstein
There comes a time in every man's education
when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance,
that imitation is suicide,
that he must take himself for better or for worse as his portion.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have been driven many times to my knees
by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go.
My own wisdom, and that of all about me,
seemed insufficient for the day.
- Abraham Lincoln
I'm actually starting to like more and more people
who have convictions that are unpopular.
Now at what point does an unpopular conviction
interfere with your own human rights?
Forced female circumcision, for instance.
The Catholic Church's stance on contraception.
The list goes on. You know, God has some really weird kids,
and I find it hard to be in their company most of the time.
- Bono
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
Protect your vision.
Prevail over adversity.
Persevere in the midst of turmoil.
Passionately act upon your convictions.
Purposely walk into the day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I'm actually starting to like more and more people
who have convictions that are unpopular.
-Bono
He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.
Strong convictions precede great actions.
- Louisa May Alcott
Never "for the sake of peace and quiet"
deny your own experience or convictions.
- Dag Hammarskjold
Have convictions. Be friendly.
Stick to your beliefs as they stick to theirs.
Work as hard as they do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The River of Life flows eternally,
with infinite strength,
but with no convictions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
It ain't those parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain
In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
The invisible and nonexistent look much alike.
- Delos B. McKown
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All religions are the same:
Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
- Cathy Ladman
Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.