Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Lord Chesterfield Quotes
Funny Quotes by Lord Chesterfield

Let these funny Lord Chesterfield Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

If you would convince others,
seem open to conviction yourself.
- Lord Chesterfield

Good humor is the health of the soul,
sadness is its poison.
- Lord Chesterfield


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


People will, in a great degree,
and not without reason,
form their opinion of you upon
that which they have of your friends;
and there is a Spanish proverb
which says very justly,
"Tell me whom you live with,
and I will tell you who you are.
- Lord Chesterfield

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde PHOTO

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates


 

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong PHOTO

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

Unsolicited Advice Is Always Meddling.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill

An unsolicited suggestion is
undistinguishable from a criticism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one can give you better advice than yourself.
- Cicero

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank

A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering

Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.
- Publilius Syrus

There are old heads in the world
who cannot help me by their example or advice
to live worthily and satisfactorily to myself;
but I believe that it is in my power
to elevate myself this very hour
above the common level of my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

How true Daddy's words were when he said:
all children must look after their own upbringing.
Parents can only give good advice
or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank

You are perfect. You are complete.
Your inner voice always knows what to do,
but it is a quiet voice.
You can only hear the whisperings of your inner voice -
your inner compass - when you turn down the volume
of your fears, your regrets, your resentments,
and the fear-based advice
your neighbors are so willing to give you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Many of us have been conditioned to trust others' opinions
more than our own, and I believe that sort of trust is excessive.
This is especially true with regard to authority figures -
doctors, lawyers, priests. I trust my doctor's intentions toward me,
but I don't blindly follow his suggestions
without checking other sources also.
He was trained to prescribe a pill for everything,
and does it with the best of intentions,
but I often choose to trust God's quiet voice inside me
rather than my doctor's medical advice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec PHOTO

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein

Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

Life is an adventure.
I can only wonder what treasure
awaits at the top of the path.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche


Thank you for visiting: Lord Chesterfield Quotes - Funny Quotes by Lord Chesterfield.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.