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Let these funny Argue Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
I argue thee that love is life.
And life hath immortality.
- Emily Dickinson
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When you argue with reality,
you lose - but only always.
- Byron Katie
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach
Each of us holds a different image of God.
There are as many perspectives on
the nature of God as there are people.
However much any of us may choose to argue,
or to fight and kill, for our point of view,
the nature of God is an unanswerable question.
Perhaps there is a specific answer,
that we will never learn - in this lifetime.
Perhaps the nature of God is so complex and multifaceted
that each view of God describes an aspect of the complex whole.
Or perhaps the nature of God is actually defined by our beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Hell is living with someone who complains, whines, and argues.
- Anonymous
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery,
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I can release my "responsibilities",
and be "impractical" whenever I choose.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever the World Frowns, I Smile Back.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever I look at a human face,
I say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe
others to be imperfect and try to change them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever I look in the mirror,
I say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be kind whenever possible; and it is always possible.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
- Kay Knudsen
Whenever you do a thing,
act as if all the world were watching.
- Thomas Jefferson
Whenever a man or women is truly inspired,
it is because the same One Universal Spirit
is doing the inspiring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever you're in conflict with someone,
there is one factor that can make the difference
between damaging your relationship and deepening it.
That factor is attitude.
- William James
Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking
becomes clear - nothing is missing.
- St. Thomas Aquinas
Whenever the people are well-informed,
they can be trusted with their own government.
- Thomas Jefferson
Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming
that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices,
a rottenness begins in his conduct.
- Thomas Jefferson
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job,
tell 'em, Certainly I Can. -
and get busy and find out how to do it.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Whenever you are angry, be assured that
it is not only a present evil,
but that you have increased a habit.
- Epictetus
Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever I look at a human face today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Allow the president to invade a neighboring nation,
whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion,
and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose
to say he deems it necessary for such a purpose -
and you allow him to make war at pleasure.
- Abraham Lincoln
May God grant you always...
A sunbeam to warm you,
a moonbeam to charm you,
a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you.
Laughter to you.
Faithful friends near you.
And whenever you pray,
Heaven to hear you.
- Irish Blessing
Anger and Danger are intimately intertwined.
An angry person is a dangerous person,
whether that person crosses our path
or whether the angry person is ourself.
To complete the anger/danger cycle,
whenever we feel threatened -
when we believe we are in danger -
we tend to exhibit anger as well as fear.
We look for someone to blame for the dangerous situation,
and direct our anger toward them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever you choose to carry resentment and hatred,
you are shouldering an immense burden that damages
your happiness, and often your health.
Does it matter that your resentment and hatred are "justified?"
Only you suffer - not the person you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This country, with its institutions,
belongs to the people who inhabit it.
Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government,
they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it,
or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Home is our sanctuary, where we:
relax into being ourselves,
play with our inner child,
paint the walls green and pink,
dig in the dirt,
grow something,
love somebody else,
love ourselves even more,
snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon,
hang "go away" on the door whenever we want,
clean and tidy often... or never,
launch from and return to,
are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Keep Searching for the Rabbit-Hole with the Magical White Rabbit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken
Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill
Life is a game.
Keep it light and playful.
Tease life, taunt life,
never attack life head-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep busy - with tasks that inspire you,
motivate you, or please you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein
Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus
They don't call them DEADlines for nothing - keep breathing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)
The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln
If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.