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Let these funny Vanish Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Enlighten the people generally,
and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind
will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.
- Thomas Jefferson
Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman,
before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
- John Quincy Adams
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
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The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
Everything popular is wrong.
- Oscar Wilde
Cowardice asks the question - is it safe?
Expediency asks the question - is it politic?
Vanity asks the question - is it popular?
But conscience asks the question - is it right?
And there comes a time when one must take a position
that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular;
but one must take it BECAUSE it is right.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.