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Martyrs cannot be silenced.
- the television show Star Trek: The Next Generation
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Friendship must dare to risk, or it's not friendship.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation
There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation
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Things are only impossible until they're not.
- Jean-Luc Picard, character in STAR TREK: The Next Generation
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
- John Morley
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.