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Let these funny Star Trek Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Martyrs cannot be silenced.
- the television show Star Trek: The Next Generation
Friendship must dare to risk, or it's not friendship.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation
Things are only impossible until they're not.
- Jean-Luc Picard, character in STAR TREK: The Next Generation
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There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
We must be free not because we claim freedom,
but because we practice it.
- William Faulkner
I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I claim that human mind or human society
is not divided into watertight compartments
called social, political and religious.
All act and react upon one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We are born at a given moment, in a given place and,
like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year
and of the season of which we are born.
Astrology does not lay claim to anything more.
- Carl Jung
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.