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Let these funny Chance Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action.
A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation.
- Neale Donald Walsch
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
It's just random chance, baby; get used to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
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All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
He who trusts all things to chance,
makes a lottery of his life
- Proverb
Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes farthest is generally
the one who is willing to do and dare.
- Dale Carnegie
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Oprah Winfrey
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Far and away the best prize that life has to offer
is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As a rock star, I have two instincts,
I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono
All we are saying is give peace a chance.
- John Lennon
Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.
- Albert Camus
Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
- Jacques Delille
Read the best books first,
or you may not have a chance to read them at all.
- Henry David Thoreau
Destiny is not a matter of chance,
It is a matter of choice.
It is not something to be waited for,
But rather something to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan
I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono
If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln
The people are the foundation of the nation.
Our only chance for a lasting peace on earth:
the release of the strength of the common man.
- Jimmy Yen
The history of free men is never really written by chance
but by choice; their choice!
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
- Abraham Lincoln
There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Not chance of birth or place has made us friends,
Being oftentimes of different tongues and nations,
But the endeavor for the selfsame ends,
With the same hopes, and fears, and aspirations.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
If by chance some day you're not feeling well
and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done
and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart,
then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
- Red Skelton
We should not let our response to
the people who disagree with us
be dictated by what they say about us
or even how they treat people we care for.
There has to be a chance that we can find love.
- William J. Clinton
Never stop dreaming your inspired future.
Believing in your dreams is only the first step,
but unless you have a dream that you believe in,
you are leaving your future to random chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For as long as I can remember, I've been searching for something,
some reason why we're here. What are we doing here? Who are we?
If this is a chance to find out
even just a little part of that answer...
I don't know, I think it's worth a human life. Don't you?
- the Jodie Foster movie Contact (1997)
Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life
in which chance has placed us,
but is always the result of a good conscience,
good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.
- Thomas Jefferson
Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous;
there's really nothing to lose.
There's no wrong you can't make right again,
so be kinder to yourself;
have fun, take chances. There are no bounds.
- Jewel
This isn't a rehearsal or a practice life.
This is your real life - your one and only real life.
There are no retakes - no second chances.
Begin now - live full out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We may not always be aware of it, but we all create
and repeat affirmations constantly.
The problem is, we typically don't pay attention
to exactly what those affirmations are saying.
Often we go through the day giving ourselves
all sorts of contradictory, or even negative messages.
We may project confidence to the world around us,
while our inner dialogue says...
I hope this works.
I am so nervous about this.
I hope I don't blow it.
Affirmations are self fulfilling prophecies.
If we say, This is never going to work
... then chances are excellent it never will.
- John Assaraf
Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher
AUM, the most primordial human sound -
and the sound most connected to Spirit,
is pronounced in these three parts:
A (as in mama) - a throat sound
that vibrates in the abdomen - signifies waking.
U (as in who) - a tongue sound
that vibrates in the chest - signifies dreaming.
M (as in mama) - a lip sound
that vibrates in the head - signifies sleeping.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The things of this world exist;
they are; you can't refuse them.
- Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching - Book One #2 - version by Ursula K. Le Guin
There is nothing true anywhere,
The true is nowhere to be seen;
If you say you see the true,
This seeing is not the true one.
- Abraham Lincoln paraphrasing Lao Tzu' Tao te Ching
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves
to recognize how good things really are.
- Marianne Williamson
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.