Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Unnecessary Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead
A mother is not a person to lean on,
but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher
I thought then, and I think now, that the invasion of Iraq
was unnecessary and unjust.
And I think the premises on which it was launched were false.
- Jimmy Carter
A wise man will make haste to forgive,
because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Ecstasy is our very nature;
not to be ecstatic is simply unnecessary.
To be ecstatic is natural, spontaneous.
It needs no effort to be ecstatic,
it needs great effort to be miserable.
That's why you look to tired,
because misery is really hard work;
to maintain it is really difficult,
because you are doing something against nature.
- Osho
One should respect public opinion insofar
as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison,
but anything that goes beyond this
is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
- Bertrand Russell
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Thank you for visiting: Funny Unnecessary Quotes - Funny Quotes about Unnecessary.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.