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Let these funny Titles Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley
Oh, that lovely title, ex-president.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
All's well that ends well.
- Proverb (and title of a Shakespeare play)
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
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There was never a child so lovely
but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Great talents are the most lovely
and often the most dangerous
fruits on the tree of humanity.
They hang upon the most slender twigs
that are easily snapped off.
- Carl Jung
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
The environment is everything that isn't me.
- Albert Einstein
Integrity is the essence of everything successful.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Love is an undulating energy that moves through you,
within you, and radiates out of you,
and changes everything.
- Bartholomew
All things appear and disappear
because of the concurrence of causes and conditions.
Nothing ever exists entirely alone;
everything is in relation to everything else.
- The Buddha
When you expect nothing, you can
receive everything as a marvelous gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything has rhythm. everything dances.
- Maya Angelou
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1
It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Everything is made of light
- don Miguel Ruiz
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll
Each one of us has our own perspective
on everything we see in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As long as a man stands in his own way,
everything seems to be in his way.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung
You can't be everything to everyone.
- Bill Cosby
People make a big fuss over you when you're President.
But I'm very serious about doing everything I can
to make sure that it doesn't go to my head.
- Jimmy Carter
I have Gratitude for Everything
that has brought me to this moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nearly everything you do is of no importance,
but it is important that you do it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.