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Let these funny Invest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If something is important to you,
attend to it immediately, and regularly.
If something is not really important to you,
that's great also -
just scratch it off your to-do list forever,
and never worry about it again.
Choose how you invest your time, and honor your choices.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter
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We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Every spirit makes its house,
and we can give a shrewd guess
from the house to the inhabitant.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill
He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong
All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings,
and so, give them the power to pull ours.
- Aldous Huxley
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Give me the luxuries of life
and I will willingly do without the necessities.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu
I give thanks for both my bloom and my thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)
We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is neither wealth nor splendor;
but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson
I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
- Bodhidharma
Don't give energy to perceived dislikes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you have zest and enthusiasm
you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.
- Norman Vincent Peale
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Khalil Gibran
Let me give you a definition of ethics:
It is good to maintain and further life
it is bad to damage and destroy life.
- Albert Schweitzer
The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner
Luck marches with those who give their very best.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
In our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.
- Deepak Chopra
You need to make a commitment,
and once you make it,
then life will give you some answers.
- Les Brown
Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We make a living by what we get.
We make a life by what we give.
- Winston Churchill
For food that stays our hunger,
For rest that brings us ease,
For homes where memories linger,
We give our thanks for these.
- Anonymous
Never give in - never, never, never, never.
- Winston Churchill
Maintain a balance between skepticism and faith.
Maintain a beginner mind. Be open to possibility.
Don't give in to skepticism,
but don't give in to fantasy either.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We should be too big to take offense
and too noble to give it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
- Michael W. Smith
No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau
Forgive and give as if it were your last opportunity.
Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.
- Max Lucado
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and cheer
and give strength to the body and soul.
- John Muir
Today... Give thanks for the miracles -
Give thanks for the love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it?
If not, we should be sincere enough to admit
that we love evil too well to give it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The people of the world genuinely want peace.
Some day the leaders of the world are going to
have to give in and give it to them.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Circumstances don't defeat you -
you defeat yourself when you give up.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy
Books are the greatest gift one person can give another.
- Bono
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.